Advice needed regarding tests etc please after mmc

(17 Posts)
frowner Sat 20-Jun-15 18:31:44

Hello all, it's with great sadness that I join you all here. I've read through a lot of the threads and I am so sorry that we all have something so awful in common, my heart truly breaks for all of you.
My life changed last Friday when we found out 14+6 that our baby had died, following a tiny streak of blood and a little cramping I insisted on a scan and went to the Epau later the same day. They scanned me and my heart was ripped out. I was told it looked like the baby had died at around 12 weeks. We have since been told that the baby is too small for a postmortem and that although I was 14+6 as the baby measured about 12 weeks it is not classed as an early miscarriage and therefore I will be offered no tests etc. please can you advise me if this is correct, I know tests can't change anything now, but I feel like I need some answers. Many thanks.

frowner Sat 20-Jun-15 18:33:25

* Sorry I meant to say that it was not classed as a late miscarriage.

bakingtins Sat 20-Jun-15 20:42:25

frowner I am so sorry you lost your baby. It's devastating at any stage but most women heave a sigh of relief as they pass 12 weeks and think they are in the clear. Did you have a 12 week scan? It would be worth getting hold of the scan report if so to check if anything with hindsight points to something wrong with the baby. You are quite correctly being told that NHS guidelines only allow for testing for a second trimester (baby >13 wks) or 3 consecutive first trimester losses. The truth is that 50% of the time even then the NHS tests don't come up with an answer. It is possible to pay privately (c£200) for genetic testing on 'products' (sorry) but a lot of units are not set up to offer this, it's not standard in all trusts even for a third loss. It is possible to do this much earlier in gestation than a post mortem. You can have blood tests for maternal causes done privately at any time but it is expensive and not very likely to yield the answers you are looking for. If you have private health insurance some policies cover investigation of miscarriage so it's worth checking.
When I rule the world genetic testing on the baby will be offered to all couples who suffer a miscarriage - those who discover a chromosome problem will be reassured it should be ok next time, those who lost a normal foetus can be offered further tests.
I do understand the need to have answers to give some sort of closure on the loss, I lost 4 babies before I got mine sad

ProbablyMe Sat 20-Jun-15 20:55:21

Hello, I am so sorry this has happened to you. I lost a much loved baby at 15 weeks at the end of January. Our hospital routinely offers genetic testing and gave me the impression that this was standard.

ProbablyMe Sat 20-Jun-15 20:56:38

Sorry - posted early!

The Miscarriage Association and SANDs websites were really helpful and informative.

frowner Sun 21-Jun-15 06:38:07

Thank you both for taking the time to reply it is greatly appreciated.

bakingtins, I'm so sorry that you have been through this heartache 4 times before, my heart aches for you. I am truly blessed that I have two healthy daughters already, I think this I why I am struggling even more to make sense of all this. Yes I had my 12 week scan, the baby measured 11+3 at the time but they said that was nothing to worry about as dates could be a little out depending on ovulation, my periods aren't clockwork so I wasn't concerned about this. They didn't have any concerns. With regards to the scan report, I have a sheet with a few measurements on in my maternity notes but nothing of any detail, would this be the report? I do have private health insurance and have looked, but it doesn't seem to cover anything relating to this, I will get my husband to contact them to be sure as it's through his employer. I'm hoping that your world domination is imminent.

Probableme, so sorry that you have also lost your baby, the grief is overwhelming isn't it? No mention of genetic testing at the hopital I attended (not sure if I'm allowed to name it). No help even when my husband asked about counselling, feel totally disregarded by them.

frowner Sun 21-Jun-15 20:14:19

Have checked the medical insurance and it does not cover any testing etc following miscarriage. Is the private genetic testing something that we could request, I'm guessing it isn't offered routinely then?

Luckystar1 Sun 21-Jun-15 20:20:23

I have no information re tests etc but I just wanted to add my condolences on your loss. I was devastated after my MMC and I really sought refuge on this board.

Take care of yourself. flowers

frowner Sun 21-Jun-15 21:27:18

Thank you Luckystar1 that means a lot to me. I'm sorry that you also find yourself here.

Luckystar1 Mon 22-Jun-15 10:07:01

Frowner, thankfully I went on to have my beautiful DS, but I will never forget my little lost one.

You will never forget or fully get over it, but, with time, you will hopefully feel a little better every day. If it gets too much, please look into counselling. I really, really should have gone for some, but I was too stubborn to do so.

frowner Mon 22-Jun-15 14:21:57

Luckystar1 I do hope you're right, at the moment I can't see any way out of this dark place I've found myself in. My husband has booked a GP appointment for Wednesday so we can discuss counselling, he did ask the hospital but they were less than helpful.

Luckystar1 Mon 22-Jun-15 15:49:18

I remember that place very well. Well done to your DH. Hopefully the GP is helpful and if not, consider going privately if that's a possibility.

Take care of yourself. You are going through a massive shock and huge emotional trauma.

frowner Mon 22-Jun-15 20:04:50

Thank you again, yes we will look privately if necessary. My husband went back to work today and HR have offered to refer him to occ health to discuss counselling for himself which I thought was positive for him. I think I am still in shock, none of this seems real.

frowner Wed 24-Jun-15 14:41:16

GP gave us a leaflet to contact someone for counselling and has booked me in for routine bloods to check for anaemia. I was quite upset speaking to her, it's still very early days and still very raw, so I was quite taken aback when she suggested I try antidepressants, to which I refused. Surely it is not uncommon to be so upset still less than 2 weeks after losing your baby?

Luckystar1 Wed 24-Jun-15 20:47:18

I know nothing about mental health issues etc and be never been on ADs so I can't comment, but I'd say yes definitely I felt dreadfully upset for much, much longer than 2 weeks!

I hope you are feeling a little better. I feel for you, it's so hard. My darkest days followed my MC, it is natural to grieve, just be mindful of it tipping to anything more, you know yourself better than anyone.

frowner Thu 25-Jun-15 18:51:00

Thank you for your kind words, I'm definitely experiencing my darkest days right now. My heart aches so badly.

frowner Tue 30-Jun-15 12:40:05

Please does anyone know of anywhere in the Warwickshire area that I could contact for private testing, such as blood tests? Many thanks.

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