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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

3 months on and feel alone

6 replies

backtotheplanet · 12/05/2015 13:57

Its coming up to 3 months since my last miscarriage (I have had 3) and it seems like my 'mum' friends' have forgotten that I was ever pregnant at all (I also have a DS). They were all very kind and sympathetic at the time, but now if I even reference being pregnant or miscarrying when discussing events of the last few months it feels like a stony silence follows.

They all know we were trying for almost a year and that I was 12 weeks when we lost the pregnancy so I'm surprised at their reaction. I don't think I have talked a great deal about the miscarriage so as to exhaust their patience! Has anyone else experienced this? Quite a few people have spoken to my husband, asking how I am and expressing sympathy recently but nothing is said to me personally, even if I mention it. I still feel so down about the loss, but recently I've started feeling desperately lonely with no one to talk to, or offer just a kind word of understanding. I wonder whether its me rather than the topic of miscarriage which is the problem? Does anyone else feel the same?

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Brummiegirl15 · 12/05/2015 14:17

Hi

I'm so sorry for your losses. I've had 3 mc's too with no dcs and I know exactly how you feel.

Once you get back to work / normal life, everyone carries on and it's feels like life is back to normal but for you it's anything but.

Please do come over and join us on the recurrent miscarriage thread 23 - treatments and trying again. We are all there for each other. Lots of ladies suffering 2/3 mc's +, some have sadly even had 5 or 6.

Everyone is chatting about their stage of the journey but we all know how you feel. Please come and join us xx

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bakingtins · 12/05/2015 14:45

There's a reason the recurrent miscarriage threads fill up so quickly - it's such a relief to find women who get it, and to have a place where nothing is too much information and no negative emotion has to be squashed down in case someone feels uncomfortable. I've had 4MC and don't know anyone IRL who has had more than two. There is lots of hope and optimism, but also plenty of space to say how shit it really is. come and join us.

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Catlover2014 · 12/05/2015 15:24

Hugs Back.

I'm so sorry to hear about the losses you have suffered, it's no wonder you are finding things difficult.

I myself battled infertility for 6 years, during which time I had 3 mcs, a nervous breakdown, several operations, failed treatments and tests. But I am now 33 weeks pregnant and have come to believe that there is always hope.

As Brummie says your feelings sound very familiar and I hate to think of you feeling alone as I know how hard that can be. Please check out the recurrent mc thread and post your story. We are a lovely group of ladies who can help you through this sad time.

x

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Snoopysimaginaryfriend · 12/05/2015 15:35

I've had two miscarriages since December, no children. I have no sisters, no friends or family even thinking about getting pregnant. My mum had one miscarriage but was pregnant again a month later and then had three successful pregnancies.

Everyone thinks I should be over it, but I'm getting worse and my resentment of their happiness is growing. They are fine with me feeling sad but they don't think I should show it. My erpc was awful and I've been having panic attacks and crying when I am on my own. I have nightmares, I get anxious and panic going into hospitals and talking to doctors. I think about it everyday.

I'm actually meeting a bereavement counsellor tonight. My mum arranged it. I'll admit I'm sceptical. The only thing that will help the pain is having a baby. But I'm hoping I will learn to cope with doctors appointments without crying.

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mrsdiddlydoo · 12/05/2015 18:52

It's definitely not you back. People just don't like talking about mc. I only recently told my parents about 2 mc I have experienced in the last year and my dad changed the subject to diy within minutes and it hasn't been mentioned since.

Do you talk about it with dh? Would it be worth speaking to a counsellor?

Please don't feel alone and come over to the rmc thread. You'd be most welcome as brummie and cat have said. Don't let the fast pace of the thread put you off.

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backtotheplanet · 13/05/2015 15:44

Thank you all so much for your replies. It's nice to know I'm not alone in feeling this way, although I feel for all of you with your own losses too. I was was starting to think I was losing my marbles! I will join the recurrent miscarriage thread as you suggest.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy Cat, as you say, there's always hope. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you all. Thanks again for making me feel better