Miscarriage and pregnancy related absence

[Cybercat]

Oh where to start, I feel bad because I know that if someone is reading this thread then they must (I assume) be familiar with the miscarriage boards. This is my first time posting in here and my first pregnancy.

I have been warned that I am having a failing pregnancy (slow growth, irregular and slow heartbeat) and am having a repeat scan on Friday to check for a heartbeat but have been prepared for the worst.

I've already decided that if this is the case that I wouldn't want to wait for things to happen naturally, an ERPC hasn't been discussed although medical management has been mentioned so it looks like that will be my option.

I finished my shift after the news last Friday (NHS employee) and will continue to work this week. As yet, although sympathetic my manager has made no mention of having time off for miscarriage. Obviously I have no intention of working during that time and have read a few threads here about medical management to try and prepare myself.

I just wanted to confirm though (will try and ring HR myself this week). Will time off for miscarriage affect my sickness record or does it count as pregnancy related absence? My sickness record is pretty clear but I'd rather not add to it if there is no reason. Thank you for reading this.

[Bakingtins]

I'm sorry, Cybercat. I've been in that situation a couple of times and being in limbo with very little hope is very difficult.

Any time you take off after a miscarriage will count as pregnancy related and will not affect your sickness record. It would be pretty standard to be signed off for 1-2 weeks. Some people need longer than this to recover their emotional strength, perhaps particularly if you work with babies or pregnant women in your role? Others manage better by getting some normality back and putting a "work hat" on.
I've only taken a few days off, as although my employer knew the real reason I didn't tell colleagues. I find people's sympathy difficult to deal with.
We will keep hoping for good news for you at the next scan, but in your shoes I have found it easier to prepare myself for the worst.

[Bakingtins]

Miscarriage Association leaflet for employers print a copy for your boss!

[lighthousesea]

I think in the nhs it's more about having repeated absence that affects your record. Just make sure that you don't go back too soon and then go off again as that will make your record worse than a single (but longer) period of absence.

Sorry to hear your going through this. I'm sure your gp would sign you off now if you don't feel up to working

[Tomkat79]

Hi cybercat, so sorry to read you are going through this.

Do ensure that you are given the full range of options and have time to think each one through. It's a real tough time to be taking in info though I know.

I am also an nhs employee and had an ERPC back in May. Sickness started on day of MC ( was at work ) and then didn't go back for another 3 weeks, signed off by my doctor. My manager told me that she didn't count the MC in my sickness record.

Physically you should heal faster than emotionally. It's a really crap time and don't be too hard on yourself. If your nhs job is anything like mine you need to be 100% focused so take the time off you need, at least 2-3 weeks. Take care xx

[Cybercat]

Thank you so much for your replies. I will see how I go this week. I do work with children and babies so I was hoping to take 2 weeks away when it came to it. Thank you all for understanding although Im really sorry that you've been through this too.

[Cybercat]

Just thought I'd update to say that I couldn't manage work this week. I went in yesterday morning but had to leave. Am going to try and get a GP appointment tomorrow to ask about being signed off. I feel so bad about not being in work but I just don't feel that I could do my job properly at the moment. I'm really worried that people will think I'm taking the mick because I don't have another scan until Friday. I just feel so sad and I hate this limbo/loss of control. Nobody talks about the emotional side of miscarriage.

[lighthousesea]

Don't you worry about anyone else. I was signed off the moment I found out (I had to wait a further 2 weeks before I was given another scan to confirm). In total I had 5 weeks. I rushed back because I was so worried about my colleagues and how long I had taken off. Once I got back to work everyone was surprised I was back so soon!

Take all the time you need. Potter around the house. Maybe try give yourself a little project this week. A craft, decorating, gardening, baking etc.

Thinking about you.