How did you all feel around your 'due date'?

(22 Posts)
MortifiedAdams Sun 25-Aug-13 13:51:33

Did you mark it in any way, or find it emotionally difficult?

Im already finding myself keeping an eye out at those.in the public eye who are due around the same time as I was and hoping it all passes.me by quickly.

nextphase Sun 25-Aug-13 14:32:16

when my Grandmother saw my engagement ring, she gave me her (old) eternity ring, which I was was going to wear on the arrival of our first child. I have platinum rings, and this was a platinum eternity ring, which no-one else in the family wears. So I put the eternity ring on on EDD.

I too avoided other bumps the size I was supposed to be.

Sorry to hear of your loss.

2beornot Sun 25-Aug-13 14:38:06

A friend of mine is due three day before my EDD. I honestly don't know how I'll feel. It around Christmas so that'll either be a good thing coz ill be occupied or bad because everyone will expect at party mood and ill just be sad!

spiderlight Sun 25-Aug-13 18:20:18

Mine was in June. I found it a very hard day. Cried a lot. I had to put on a brave face and go to DS's sports day, which helped. I found that the sadness changed in intensity after my due date though - it took a few weeks but it definitely lifted a bit and I've felt a lot less tearful since, and been more able to cope with seeing other people's newborns.

jimijack Sun 25-Aug-13 18:26:12

Well for all of mine, I was the only person who remembered so outwardly I did nothing and didn't let on to anyone either.

Kept busy, felt sad but got on with life tbh

After 3 mcs I stopped working out due dates to avoid the pain. Stopped writing down dates too so for all further mcs (I had 7) I didn't know. Was best for me.

TaytoCrisp Mon 26-Aug-13 00:58:09

Not too bad the first time as I was pregnant again when the due date arrived - which made it easier. Also we were away with family on the day itself, so i just distracted myself. Second time was dreadful - so sad and wasn't sure what to do. Crap week actually. Felt it marked two rather than one loss ( the old cumulative effect). Apart from my DH only one person remembered - I didn't expect anyone else to, but I felt quiet down around the time. Was slightly relieved once the date had passed. And subsequently I mentioned it to one or two people close to me which helped too. you could light a candle on the day, maybe in a spiritual place if that wrks for you.

MortifiedAdams Mon 26-Aug-13 08:24:45

Thank.you for sharing your experiences. I.imagine.only dh and I will remember - we may do something to mark the date.

I may have to plan a big day out to keep meyself.occupied.

lifesgreatquestions Thu 29-Aug-13 17:01:14

I don't make plans other than to batten down the hatches to protect myself emotionally. I find I'm odd, jerky and a bit incoherent so I try to keep my plans low level. I also try to avoid knowing anniversary dates. It's tricky Mortified but I hope you find a way of passing it that suits you the best.

RaRaZ Mon 09-Sep-13 10:41:29

I've got my first one coming up in October and then another in January. Will light a candle I think. Not really sure what else to do...

Bakingtins Tue 10-Sep-13 13:02:00

I have started a little tradition sad that on EDD I buy a baby-related charity gift (midwifery training, immunisations, birthing kit etc) in memory of the baby. It helps me to think that another baby somewhere can be brought safely into the world. Other than that, plan a quiet-ish day so you have space to be sad if you need to. I agree with the others that one the EDD is passed, spirits seem to lift a bit. I hope it passes peacefully for you, and I'd encourage you to mark the day in some way that feels meaningful to you. Even after 4MC I haven't managed to pull off jimi's trick of not being aware of the dates.

JBrd Tue 10-Sep-13 13:27:55

Like tayto, I was pg again by the time my first EDD came round at the end of July this year - but it still was hard, mainly due to the fact that the Royal baby was all over the news (Kate M and I would've been bump buddies). I cried a lot watching the footage on TV of them leaving the hospital.

My next EDD will be at the end of November, and I as I'm currently undergoing tests for recurring mc, I definitely won't be pg again then. Not sure what I will do - there always seems to be someone else due around all of my EDDs, a friend from my mums' group at the end of November (as well as a work colleague's wife), and then my childminder in March for my 3rd EDD. It will be difficult to get away from them.

I'm currently thinking that I might try and bury myself in work to keep my mind occupied... I don't think that DH will even remember.

OhBuggerMe Wed 11-Sep-13 15:48:22

For the first baby I lost I bought some quite expensive xmas decorations (I mc'd in December 2011) and in my own way it felt like my way of marking that id created a life. Now nearly 2 years and 2 more miscarriages later, and no baby I'm totally dreading getting them out of the decoration box this year. I'll probably have a bit of a cry and imagine what may have been.

Its so so hard to do the 'right' thing.

Kasterborous Wed 11-Sep-13 19:54:42

I felt sad around my due dates, and made sure I always kept myself busy. I always find the dates I actually miscarried on harder to deal with. I had a D&C one Christmas Eve five years ago and that one really hit me hard last year, I just let myself cry and feel sad. I think you always remember them so I didn't feel the need to mark them in any special way, but I can see why people do.

Debs75 Wed 11-Sep-13 20:16:32

Again I was pregnant when I reached the due day. That does make things easier as if DD was born on that due day she would of been almost 3 months early.
It was a horrid day though as my mum's work friend miscarried her 8 month baby on the day my first baby was duesad. I was feeling down as I knew the day and when my mum came home and told me I just sobbed and sobbed.
I still remember it almost 18 years later. It is a day which will never go away

coco2303 Wed 11-Sep-13 21:35:50

I had 3 early miscarriages which I didn't work out the due date for. Even now I'm not sure why maybe to block it out I'm not sure. But I lost another angel at 7 months and the loss didn't fully hit me until her actual due date. Which sounds silly as u would have thought I would feel that at the funeral.
But everybody will feel different on there babies due date. I don't think there is any right or wrong way to feel

StupidMistakes Thu 12-Sep-13 15:55:47

I've never forgot either of my due dates. My eldest would be 7 this December 26th, and my middle child would be 5 come march 26th. Both I have never forgotten their dates or the dates I found out June 28th with the first and august 29th with the second. Both I hold dear to me. Everyone deals with it differently. I believe for some reason my eldest was a girl n middle was a boy.

Flipper934 Sat 14-Sep-13 13:23:06

Thinking of all you lovely ladies. My due date would have been 23rd Sept, and feeling sad, I came over to this board to look for support. Just finding this thread, and realising that how I'm feeling is normal, has been a great comfort.

Thank you all for sharing.

ChristineDaae Sun 15-Sep-13 10:16:47

Mine is today. I partly feel really grateful that I am pregnant again (21 weeks) but its so surreal. I just keep thinking how right now I should be having a baby ( or at least be expecting it to make a move in the next few days) DP is still in bed but pretty sure he won't remember

Kasterborous Sun 15-Sep-13 21:34:22

thanks for you ChristineDaae I think you will always remember the date that you should have been due. I remember all six of mine, it lessens over time, but is always there.

Happy to hear that you are now 21 weeks pregnant.

Pawprint Mon 16-Sep-13 16:13:44

I found the first (I had four m/cs) really hard. It was made more difficult because dh's cousin was due to give birth on the day I was due and I knew there would be an announcement sad

I don't know if I marked it. I was actually pregnant again by then, but lost that baby too sad I actually stopped working out the due dates after the first loss sad

I really wish I hadn't excitedly calculated my due date. 22nd April is stamped across my mind and I'm dreading it even though it's been less than 2 weeks since my mc. I am desperately hoping to be pg again by then, but time will tell.

omri Tue 17-Sep-13 22:42:08

Also glad to find this thread. My due date is tmrw. Crying just typing this! I am pg again so know how lucky I am for that but just feel so low.
I'll be stressed with work tmrw all day so distracted from the sadness but I like the idea of donating some money to a baby charity smile

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