I thought I would share my experience of my recent miscarriage. During this dreadful time, I have found out most of the information I needed from this and other online forums. To all those ladies experiencing this, I am so sorry for your loss, but hope that by providing some information it may help you cope at this difficult time. Actually even writing this is causing me to well up again...
After many years of trying for a baby, we finally had IVF in May/June. That was an emotional rollercoaster in itself. We had a 5 day blastocyst transferred and were amazed when we found out I was pregnant. I remember thinking after all these years of trying that the IVF process eventually seemed too easy to get pregnant...I should have guessed things seemed too good to be true!
I went for my 7 week heartbeat scan. I was really excited, but also nervous as I seemed to have stopped having pregnancy symptoms a few days earlier; but I read on the internet that everyone is different so decided to stay positive. Anyway we went for the scan and it was quickly apparent that although my womb and a pregnancy sac was visible, there was nothing in it. It was just a black hole. It was obvious, but the lady doing the scanning took several minutes before she said it. I felt totally numb; my poor husband could not believe it at all. She said we'd had a missed miscarriage.
I was very distressed and searched the internet trying to understand my options for dealing with the miscarriage - natural, medical management (tablets to induce it) or little operation called ERPC (previous version of this op was called D&C). I realised that it could take several weeks for my body to miscarry naturally, as it thought it was still pregnant. I could not mentally handle the idea of miscarrying at any moment, nor face unpredictable pain or the blood - I would find it too traumatic. I also didn't want the medical management option as I read quite a few people saying how much it suddenly hurt, and again I didn't want to see the blood. So I deduced I should try have the EPRC.
However before having an ERPC you have to have another scan a week later (makes sense - to ensure you're definitely not pregnant) but only then could they refer me to the hospital for the operation. I called the hospital and it looked like it would be 1.5 week wait after the scan for the operation (though this varies depending on how busy they are). So it was looking like 2+ weeks wait, but no definite timeline.
I then realised I had BUPA cover through work which I'd never previously used. I called them and they advised they cover ERPC and I was able to book into a local private clinic for just after my 1 week scan. So I booked this.
The second scan showed the sac had grown a little but it was still empty. The scan also showed my body had no intention of miscarrying soon.
So I went in for the ERPC. The staff at the clinic were so amazingly nice, it really helped to feel looked after. They were very sensitive to my situation. The op is done under general anaesthetic and takes under half an hour. I felt absolutely fine after the op and mentally far better for having had it done.
However I thought this meant everything was over, but I did have some spotting, and some slightly heavier bleeding for about 16 days after the operation. On a couple of occasions this was accompanied by quite painful cramps (I took paracetamol and ibuprofen) which were followed a few hours later by more lumpy brown/red discharge.
The spotting suddenly stopped a couple of days ago, and I honestly feel pretty good now. The whole miscarriage process seems to have gone on for a long time, and I feel so relieved it is over. My hormones seem to be settling down a bit too which is helping with how I feel.
It has been an emotionally draining journey, but somehow I feel stronger now for getting through it. Although I'm praying I never have another miscarriage, I know that if I do, I think I can handle it. If it was to happen this way again, then I would not change the treatment option I took.
Anyway, I hope this helps anyone going through this difficult time.
Thank you for sharing. I hope you never have to go through the experience again and that your next attempt is successful. In my experience sometimes waves of emotion hit you weeks or months after a miscarriage, so if that happens in your case you know where we are.