Mumsnet Talk

I've spent the weekend in hospital after an ectopic pregnancy. I was still breastfeeding my 15 month old but we had to wean him when i was in hospital as he couldnt get in with 2 kids every day. i wanted to continue day feeding once we got home from hospital but my husband says no. Every time ds says milk I start crying

I'm obviously a hormonal mess, and can't tell if its right to stop. I'm afraid that I could be focusing my loss of a baby onto loss of breastfeeding. My husband says its best for the baby as we've done 5 days but all I can do is cry.

Any advice ?

I'm sorry but if my husband said no to me breastfeeding my child I would probably laugh at him.
I think you feel justifiably upset freya...and yes your hormones are very probably not helping, but still.
You look after yourself x

Sorry, but your body, your choice. It's not you DH's decision to make. My DS is still feeding at 21 months and we will go on until he or I decide it's time to stop despite my DH making "isn't it time you stopped" noises.

I was in hospital for 4 days so we had to start weaning. My husband said we should continue with weaning as we had already done 4 days.

I wanted to do what was best for ds and not what was best for me. I wouldn't have stopped now if I hadn't had the ectopic pregnancy.

I didn't want to start a 'my body my decision' discussion or be told it was 'laughable' , I just wanted to express my sorrow at how in a week, my world turned upside down. I'm too hormonal to discuss with anyone in RL so I thought I'd get some sympathy here.

So sorry if i offended you freya...
You must be feeling bad enough already. I really hope you feel better very soon and that you can come to a decision very soon.

Hi, you've had a really tough week- I wonder if your husband thinks that he will be helping you rest & recover if you don't 'have' to bf any more? Also he's done 5 days of weaning & saying no so it must feel hard to him for her to go back to bf.Why does he think you should stop bf? Could you maybe just reintroduce morning & bedtime feeds? Or whenever was your favourite time to feed?

FWIW, I was slowly weaning my 20 MO to aid TTC, got pg therefore upped feeds again, miscarried at home but didn't feel like feeding so cut down to 1 a day (& friends looked after him so he had less opportunity anyway), then now we've gone back up as we've both been ilk which bf helps with. So, weaning doesn't have to be linear, you can be flexible.

Hi, you've had a really tough week- I wonder if your husband thinks that he will be helping you rest & recover if you don't 'have' to bf any more? Also he's done 5 days of weaning & saying no so it must feel hard to him for her to go back to bf.Why does he think you should stop bf? Could you maybe just reintroduce morning & bedtime feeds? Or whenever was your favourite time to feed?

FWIW, I was slowly weaning my 20 MO to aid TTC, got pg therefore upped feeds again, miscarried at home but didn't feel like feeding so cut down to 1 a day (& friends looked after him so he had less opportunity anyway), then now we've gone back up as we've both been ilk which bf helps with. So, weaning doesn't have to be linear, you can be flexible.

After a night of crying - 2 trips out in car to get ds to sleep. I fed him this afternoon. He was so content and busy smiling up at me. Dh just in the door so will share the news in a bit. I'm not going to do any night feeds though just stick with morning and evening feeds. Was shopping for holiday stuff as we leave on Sunday so a bit wrecked. Off to doctors tomorrow so hopefully he'll clear me to fly.

Bless you Freya; do what you have to do. If that means bf your son, then you do that. Tell your dh that you are going to continue because you both want to. To me it sounds like it'll help you recover, as for me, the presence of my two children is what put a smile back on my face after two mc. Hugs x

Breastfeeding has recommenced in earnest after another night of crying.

Sorry for your recent loss.
I fed my second until she was just over 2 and wondered how we would ever stop. We did eventually but I'm glad we managed for so long.
If your son wants to feed I'd just keep going like you are- he'll soon let you know when he's had enough.

I think once your DH see's how much BF gives you and your des joy, he'll be happy for you to continue. Agree that he probably thought giving you a complete rest was going to help you and he could take over some of the care.

Having mummy go away and stopping bf at the same time was probably too much for your ds. I bet your DH will be glad of you still bf to settle ds when you go on holiday

Dh was just looking out for me. I've been either breastfeeding or pregnant since feb 09. I was at the doctor today for all clear before holiday. He said might be good to try to restablish (nice to have such a helpful/enlightened (male) doctor. I've stocked up on fennel tea and ds is stuck to me today so we'll give it our best shot.