3 pregnancy losses in 9 months is it time to give up?

[loopybear]

I have one fabulous DD who is 4. Today would have been my EDD of my first miscarriage and i began to bled again and EPU confirmed a miscarriage with a scan. I also had an ectopic in October which they removed along with a tube. I have PCOS and Endometrious so understand the reasoning. Part of feel desparate for another baby and the other part of me wants to be sterilised because I can't go again. DH is paranoid that I'll have another ectopic and it will kill me as the lst one was a very close call. Just need to tell some-one thank you for listening.

[Dozer]

So sorry loopybear. What a rough time for you.

I had 4 mcs between dd1 and dd2. Horrible, have been so lucky to have dd2. I found counselling v helpful.

There's no need to take any big decisions rightaway, take stock with your dh and see how ou feel after a break maybe?

Don't know what to say other than hope things look up soon and hang in there.

[Ladybee]

Loopybear, how horrible. That's so much suffering and grief. I've had three losses in less than a year as well (also with PCOS and a clotting factor), just had the ERPC last week.

My first response was 'I can't do this again'. Then it was 'we need to take a break'. Now it's 'I can't waste any more time we have to start again'. To be honest, I don't think any of my responses right now are to be trusted. It's too close, too raw, too fresh to make a firm decision about anything.

Don't make a decision. Don't do anything except hug each other, grieve your loss and let time help you.

[MrsSnow]

Hi Loppybear
So sorry to hear your story.

I don't think you are ready to decide anything yet, its all so early. What I would say is that when you are ready to TTC again is to ask your GP to put you under consultant care or to send you to a recurrent miscarriage centre. They tend to take people after 3 repeat miscarriages regardless of the reason. Maybe you could also look into this Ladybee.

Things do get easier hugs

[hairylights]

So sorry for your losses. I have been trying for a first child and also had 3 miscarriages in 9 months.

It's still raw, I'm undergoing tests, bit I'm not giving up. We are waiting for all the tests and giving ourselves a break and will eventually try again.

[LAF77]

loopy I am in the same position as you. I've lost 3 pregnancies in 8 months. I have been referred by a local consultant to St. Mary's in London, but am waiting for my appointment date. None of mine have been etopic and it must be so frightening after such a scare. Perhaps you can see your GP and ask for a referral to a specialist who can offer some treatment after investigation.

I'm not giving up. I have my good days and bad days, the bad days seem to be outnumbering the good ones lately. As lady said, it is very raw at first and maybe you need time to process the grief before trying again.

Let us know how you are feeling. Many people in real life can't relate to what you have been through and sometimes you need to share your feelings with people who can relate.

[loopybear]

Thank you lovelyt ladies well blood tests showed up rising HGC on SAaturday with lowering progerterone as did tests on Monday, so I spent all of yesterday at the EPAU and in the hospital coffee shop. They absolutely wonderful consultant finally found the ectopic, have to say her junior is bloody useless and insensitive why she is working in the EPAU is beyond me. Fortunately the ectopic was small enough to be medically treated in the vain hope of saving the remaining tube and ovary should we decide we want to try again in the future. I have PCOS and endometrious, so although the tube looked healthy in October they maybe they maybe the cause. Drug has made me feel yuk and emotionally I feel like I've been hit by train. She did say she'd refer me to St Mary's but my risk of Ectopic again is upto 1 in 3 chance and to be honest the first one I ruptured on the table and if I hadn't been hyper vigalent about being pregnant and not just having a very longer cycle this one may have ended up the same way. My reality is I have a beautiful DD, a DH who adores me and my next pregnancy could kill me and as grateful as I am for everything I have it just feels bloody unfair.

I so hope you all get the babies you want x