WWYD after 2 consecutive mc's?

[banana87]

I had 1 mmc, 1 dd, 1 mmc, 1 natural mc. After this last one I decided I will definately have tests to see whats wrong. NHS won't refer me after 2 consecutive's. Should I go private and pay (in the region of £500) for tests, OR should I stick to my gynae's regime of baby aspirin and double dose folic acid and cross my fingers? I am 30, so think I have enough time BUT I do not want a third miscarriage in 6 months. sigh WWYD? (No, I don't have the money to go private. It would mean cutting back or working harder).

[ANTagony]

The reason they say wait until three or more consecutive is because the stats are that your chances of going to term are only slightly lower after three consecutive dropping a bit more after four and five. I went into this big time after having a third miscarriage in 9 months, earlier this year. I had a haemorrhage and was quite poorly lacking in iron only to go on and then conceive again one cycle later. This time I've made it to nearly 27 weeks.

The most shocking thing I've discovered, by opening up to a few people, is just how common multiple miscarriages are - and as importantly how many people go on to have healthy babies.

It can happen and I really do get the fear and frustration, the testing and retesting, living by the calendar and emotional upheaval. If you can, I'd say stick with the advice you've had. You are young and you have carried one to term so the basic functions must all be in the right places. I wish you every luck in the future and reassurance you're not the only one this has happened to.

[banana87]

Thanks ANTagony. I have had a fertility nurse, gynae, and 2 GP's tell me not to go for testing yet. I am just so scared of it happening again, I want to do anything I can to find out any possible reason if there is one. Such a hard thing to decide. Congrats to you!!! Did you do anything different this time round?

[ANTagony]

The only thing I'd done differently was I'd come to the conclusion it wasn't to be! I thought with my body so run down and the anaemia it wasn't going to happen again for a few months at least.

I do get the desire to test its just that there don't appear to be many tests that will actually give you any answers. I'm not a patient person and I wish it could be a straight forward process. I just don't think medical science is that far evolved in understanding the ins and outs.

The fear is still a little with me. I hit various points when I thought I ought to feel more confident. Spent a fortune on test strips, eventually going for the cheaper ones and stopped testing at about 13 weeks.

I really hope that the next time round things are better for you.

[hobbgoblin]

Not quite the same but after having 3 successful pregnancies I had two consecutive MMCs. I thought soemthing had suddenly gone wrong with my body and it seemed inevitable that the next pregnancy would end in MC. As it turned out I separated from my partner a year or so later and did not conceive again until years later in a new relationship. This pregnancy resulted in my DD2. I, somewhat romantically/superstitiously put things down to my body knowing that having another baby was going to be a bad idea as I am now super glad that I didn't have another baby with my then partner. I doubt that's the reason but maybe stress was a factor or something and my body just wouldn't allow a baby to be born when things were so difficult - kind of like my body/brain saved em from myself.

Anyway, apart from all that ramble my post can only serve to perhaps reassure you that babies can happen even after 2 unexplained MMCs when you think that the outcome must surely be the same again the next time...

[batteryhen]

Hi there :)

banana as you know I have just had my 2nd MMC - this time at 12 weeks. I had my first in March this year at 6 weeks. I did ask last week about testing and got the reply that if you havent had 3 then you wont get investigated. My Dr called me this morning to say she wants to refer me but thats because I am 37 - if you are over 35 your age comes into it. However if I was not going to be referred then I wouldnt pay for private - yet. Sadly the way it was described to me - having one MC is common - having 2 is not as common but not unusual - having 3 is a bit unusual - hence they wait till 3rd.

Even though I will be referred - I am not waiting to try again. As soon as we can we are going to start trying.

Good luck in what you decide xx

[banana87]

Well done Batteryhen. I don't think I am strong enough to try again. I am too convinced it will all go wrong. It was such a stressful three weeks with constant spotting, a huge bleed, THEN an incomplete miscarriage. Just do not think I could go thru the am I/aren't I hoo ha again. At least for the moment. Not that getting testing is going to solve that quandry.

[GrumpyFish]

How close together were your MCs? I had DS, then 2 consecutive early (6/7 week) miscarriages earlier this year. Paid privately for blood tests, which found nothing. GP was prepared to do day 21 progesterone, which did come back low. I took a few months off from TTC (left it 5 months from last MC), went for accupuncture and tried to eat really healthily to balance my hormones. Then I got pregnant again, and so far this one is going better - 14 weeks now (although I'm still terrified!). I kind of feel that we wasted our money on the blood tests (although obviously I would have felt differently if they'd found something), and that for me, time (with a bit of a hand from some alternative therapies) has hopefully addressed whatever problems I had. Good luck!

[batteryhen]

Banana, youd don't have to decide yet, you have plenty of time .... maybe after a few months you will feel differently. In the mean time, look after your self, and spoil yourself a little too xxx

[banana87]

I think I just ov'd, but it is my cycle post-ERPC so no idea if that's right. Anyway, am seeing consultant on the 9th so will ask all the questions and decide from there. You look after yourself too battery!

[Muser]

banana you have time still, don't feel you need to rush into a decision. Take some time to grieve for your losses and then decide. Honestly, I know the papers do all the doom and gloom about conceiving after 30, but this place is full of women having babies in their 30s and their 40s. You have time.