Getting maintenance from overseas?

[pinkmamma]

Just wondered if anyone was in the same boat on this? My ex-p is italian and of course CSA cannot do anything (not that they would if they could IYKWIM!)
I am currently seeing a solicitor to try to get a maintenance order in this country which can be served on him by way of reciprocal agreement in italy.
I imagine it will take a good while but ds only 2 so got to be worth it. Here's hoping...

[Caligula]

Pinkmamma, I've just seen this.

A friend of mine got divorced in 1980 and in about 1992, she caught up with her ex who was in Switzerland. She got a Swiss lawyer on to him and he owed so much theoretical maintenance (because in 1980, the CSA didn't exist and maintenance was not set at poverty levels) that he settled out of court. So it does happen, but you have to keep at it - it took about three years from the time my friend found his address, to receiving the cheque, and a couple of times she nearly gave up, but she grimly stuck on in there and it paid off.

At the time, the Swiss laws were extremely strict on maintenance - I seem to remember being told that it was a criminal offence not to pay it - and the excuse that "I've moved on and had a second/ third/ fourth family who take priority now because I temporarily prefer them", wasn't accepted, so he did have a huge incentive to pay up, unless he wanted to flee Switzerland the way he'd fled England. I don't know what the Italian maintenance laws are like, but I hope you get as positive an outcome as my friend did. But just be prepared that it might take longer than you are expecting. From what I remember, my friend was referred from her solicitor, to another solicitor in London with a partner firm in Geneva, to a completely separate solicitor in Geneva - so a colleague of a colleague of a colleague.

[tribpot]

Pinkmama, certainly there is a reciprocal agreement between the UK and Italy - some CSA info about it here . I looked into this recently for a friend of mine although the opposite situation applies to her - she lives abroad and the dad lives here. I spoke to a family law solicitor who said that there was provision in the Children Act for a petition to be made by an overseas resident. I'm not sure what's happened since then, my friend was going to contact the solicitor directly.

Hopefully at some point you will be able to sort this out satisfactorily.

[pinkmamma]

Thanks for replies. Yeah I guess it will be a long drawn out process but don't see why he should get away without paying. Men...humph!!

[Roolie]

interested in this as I'm pregnant with my child and my baby's father is Italian. He's a friend and not my partner. We had IVF to get pregnant and he paid for half the treatment, he also wants to contribute to our son's upbringing even though I'll be living here in London with the babe.

Should I be retiscent about allowing him to register as father on the birth certificate ?

thanks

[chloeb2002]

hello my situation is slightly differnt but my Exp is in australia. I am currently in the uk oing nurse training. The CSA in the UK asked if i wanted them to persue mt maintainace, but this was pretty much a wish full offer. Having had friends in a similar position i knew my best cahnmce was to use the australian csa and an australian solicitor. Luckily i have a friend who specialises in family law in Australia and he took on my case at mates rates! knowing that the amouint of maintainance i would get would be minimal it wouldnt have been worth spending alot of money on getting it. It has been a long haul and i have finally recieved the assessment from the csa so we should get $120au a month which is better than a slap in the teeth. however i am yet to see this of course but the CSA australia will collect on my behalf so its their problem. I have found them reasonably efficient and helpful. it is important to lodge with the Csa asap where ever you choose to play the case from because child support is only payable from the day you ask the CSA for it. I lodged with them 2 weeks after DD was born and it is back dated till then. Im suer italy will also have a recirocal arrangement and there fore an over seas claim dept for you to deal with first hand.
It has been a minefield nearly 3 years getting this far with DNA tests trips to aus for court and going as far as private detectives to issue court orders to Ex P. But i do feel vindicated now. even if we dont get a cent! and if we do it will go into an account in Aus in DD's name for when we are back living there.
hope that may help? theer is light and the end of the tunnel....... but it may be a long tunnel.

[Lizita]

How interesting. my dd's father is aussie & living there, the CSA closed the case cos there was nothing they could do, and I thought no more about it. I thought i was better off not trying to get money out of him, less complications re benefits etc. More important for me that we keep in good contace & get on (and we do). He has opened a savings account in oz for dd though, for when she is older.

[SofiaAmes]

Roolie, you should check with an immigration specialist (or maybe the italian embassy). I am half italian and hold an italian passport (as well as an american one). In order to get Italian passports for my children, my husband (father of my children) has to give permission. In the end I have not yet done their italian passports (they already have american and british) as it hasn't been that long since italy has had enforced military service for males at 18. However there are benefits to italian citizenship too like ability to own certain types of property in italy and access to some countries (green card lottery in usa) that aren't accessible to the british. You may want to consider the pros and cons of all of that before putting him on the birth certificate. Just make sure you double check the ramifications of it all. I think that it might be worth discussing it with your friend amicably and have him check what the in's and out's are.

[chloeb2002]

Hi Lizita, the uk csa offered to persue maintainace, however they never started because I said id prefer to do it myself! they were at the least very relieved. I got the impression that they wouldnt ahve done anything about it. DD's dad i must add isnt in contact with her and im an Aussie (dual Cit Uk) so i have bank accounts in Australia and will confess that when i ever get anything from him it wont be declared in the uk. You can also have up to £3000 in savings or assests before it affects your benifits. I have a bursary to study nuring so only get minimal help with rent anyway!
If it would have destroyed any relationship between DD and her dad or gp's who are awesome i wouldnt have persued him. Also I could do it relatively cheaply and can bank it in dollars au.. with the lousy exchange rate no point in changes to sterling!

[piffle]

Not sure if this helps but I got my maintentance paid when exp was in NZ, but when he left to come to the UK
Nothing Nada
Luckily our situation is amicable and we have sorted ourselves out, but if you have a person who is denying you payment, I might loosely suggest that any country would be easier than getting it here tbh...

[Roolie]

thanks folks particularly Sofia, that's useful. gut feeling is good but will pursue legal advice toox

now all I have to do is work out how I fend off old wives tales from over-zealous Italian grandparents !

[SofiaAmes]

Actually most italian old wives tales are pretty good. Just bear in mind that they are obsessive about weighing babies when they are new borns. They weigh them before and after every feed!!!!! They are also into swaddling them, which works great for some and not so great for others. As the children get older there are odd things like not giving them cold water to drink after they've been running around and it will give them a cold. And of course for 3 hours after eating, NO swimming or wading or even looking at or thinking about water.