I just need sometime to myself, how will I ever get it?

[cantpickyourfamily]

DD is 16months and I never have any time for my appointments like counselling or back appointments.

I have to let exp know when I need him to have her then he will let me know if he can arrange his work around my appointments. But he is usually late which will make me late.

How do any of you manage to get some time to do something for your self?

[brightwell]

Is there anyone you can do a swap with ie look after their dc for a few hours in return for them looking after your dd. That's what I used to do.

[cantpickyourfamily]

not really, i have got one friend with a young baby so have suggested that we take turns in going to the gym and looking after dd's so I will just mention it again.

If I had a friend who was a single mother would be best as she would be in the same situation as me.

I would happily provide childcare for a friends baby if she could do the same.

[beansmum]

I just take ds with me for appointments.

[cantpickyourfamily]

how old is your ds?

one of my appointments is counselling and I would be fussing with dd all the time when I should be talking. And the other is for my back, and dd is quite over protective and does not like doctors or anyone touching me.

[beansmum]

ds is 4. I would rather not take him everywhere with me but I don't have any other option.

Is there any way you could arrange the times your ex is going to have your dd first, and then arrange appointments for those times iyswim?

[cantpickyourfamily]

When dd is 4 I'm sure it will be easier as she will understand that I am busy and she will have to sit there.

Did you always have to take him with you?

I can't really rel on exp all the time as he tends to let me down at the last minute, also his work pattern is all over the place as he works shifts.

[beansmum]

ha! ds understands that I am busy and that makes him even worse. I just don't make any appointments any more, it's easier. Sorry, I'm not being very helpful am I?

[CarGirl]

It's very hard especially if you are struggling financially. If you can't find friend's who will swap/help out my only other idea is find a childminder for one short day per week

[cantpickyourfamily]

beansmum - I know how you feel, I feel like saying hey don't worry if I go crazy as I cannot see the counsellor. And hey don't worry if I can nolonger look after dd as I cannot walk as can nver find time to get my back sorted.

It is a nightmare, I could rot to deaf and no one would ever care!!

[cantpickyourfamily]

I was going to try to get a child minder but really don't think I can afford it. I will try and get dd used to the creche at my gym so if I need an hour I can put her in there, I'm just not sure she would settle in there. lets hope for the best...

[ChasingSquirrels]

does your daughter's father have her at different times, not just when you need him to? Can you arrange your appointments for this time.
Babysitting circle?
Family?
Swapping with a friend is a good idea, doesn't have to be a single mum.

[cantpickyourfamily]

yes he does have her at other times to, but it is not the same days every week so there fore it makes it dificult to arrange appointments etc.

I do not really feel I can ask family and have only got one friend that has a baby who is still very young so perhaps when she is abit older we can do that, maybe i just need to make more friends