Hi all,
I really need some advice here. I've just found out that i'm pregnant after a holiday 'romance'(burst bloody condom and not a chemist in sight). The dad is Spanish, lives over there, but i've known him for a while (my family goes out there quite a lot). I'm very confused and worried about what to do, and whether or not to go ahead and keep the baby. I think in my heart of hearts I want to keep it, as I don't think I can go through with a termination, as I had one at 16, but then the other part of me thinks "Madness!". I would be happy for him to be a part of the baby's life, and to go out and visit as often as possible (if that's what he wants), but essentially I know that I would be a single mum, and i'm fully aware of how hard that would be (hence the "madness" thoughts!). However, I have so many thoughts going through my head:
Is it fair to bring a baby into the world if it's dad doesn't want it? I have written him a long email telling him what the situation is yesterday, so currently awaiting some kind of response (if any!), and pretty sure he will respond but don't know his feelings- guessing won't be massively enthusiastic!
How will I cope financially? I have a good job at the moment (I earn 30K), but it sounds silly, if I earn too much (not that i'm minted by any means, what with student loan repayments), will I struggle even more money wise? I don't want to be a benefit scrounger, but would like to know what help I can get, if any- especially for help with rent and child care. Dad is still a student in Spain and has 2 years left to go, so I have stated in email that if I was to keep, I wouldn't expect money for now.
Will I live to regret if I do go ahead? I spoke to a well meaning friend last night who is very matter of fact/ blunt, and told me in no uncertain terms that basically my life will be over, that i'll never progress in my career, meet a nice guy, or go out ever again- i was left in floods
I feel that I could cope with a baby (i'm 24) and have definitely done my main partying, but am I being naive? Will I be a dribble encrusted hermit forever? I'm still so shocked and confused, it doesn't feel real... Please help
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What shall I do? Please help, sorry long post...
9 replies
whatatodo · 13/10/2008 21:39
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