Contact with my step daughters mum??

[youcannotbeserious]

OK, brief history:

DH's Ex and I don't exactly get on great, but we are civil / polite to each other - mainly for the sake of the kids, but we've been part of each other's lives for nearly 10 years and I suppose we've gotten used to each other!

Anyway, DH works away so is not about at all during the week... But, I've got a new baby, so at home all day every day...

My DSDs break up from school next week, but their mum doesn't finish for another 2 and a bit weeks.

I'm in half a mind to e-mail Dh's ex directly and just say that I'm about to look after the kids if she should want / need it. Obviously, I understand the kids are older now and may not need it, but the offer is there.

What do you think? I've mentioned it to DH and to the DSDs.... Just not sure I should just bite the bullet and say, I'm about if you need any childcare....

What do you think? Or should I just leave it?

My DH is very busy and, what's prompted this is, last friday, he sent his Ex a text saying I'd pick the kids up but sent me a text saying he would confirm (which he then didn't because he was on a flight) which meant I was half and hour late to pick the kids up... Dh's ex and I live less than 15 minutes from each other...

What do you think?

[AMAZINWOMAN]

I think you're lovely! Your dsd is lucky to have you.

She may have sorted out childcare by now, but its nice for your dsd to know that she is always welcome at yours! And she has a baby sister or brother now, by offering she will feel part of her dad's new family.

Well done for having a nice relationship with your dsd

[Leslaki]

Run it past dh first but if he says yes then go for it! She may be very happy to have free child care. Depends on how she feels about you with her kids IYKWIM. I'd also explain to her about the beng late incident so she knows it wasn't your fault. Think this is a really lovely gesture!!! Yes your DSD is lucky to have this realtionship with all of you! Take care.

[PurpleOne]

Your DSD's are so lucky to have you. Really.

It's just caring and doing the right thing.

My dd's step mum doesn't offer anything, we don't even talk.

I hope they all know how lucky they are!
Pat yourself on the back!

[gillybean2]

Definitely discuss it with your dh first. Are you sure you can anage with the new baby and the stepchildren? What if she said great you can have them every day for example...? You don't want her accussing you of using the kids to babysit so you can nap for example should you fall asleep on the sofa or something.

I also suggest you bcc (rather than cc) your dh into every email (so that his ex doesn't see his name on there and think you're not communicating or something), and forward all replies to him so he can see what is said and is kept in the loop.

In all likelyhood she has probably sorted out most of her childcare now already. But is nice of you to offer I think. I certainly sould offer if I were you, but try not to be to disappointed if she refuses.

Gilly

[youcannotbeserious]

Well, as it was I didn't get the chance...

She decided to kick off when DH dropped the kids back... WHY does she have to spoil the kids weekends by causing a fight at the doorstep???? WHY???

Anyway, during the ranting and hollering (she doesn't bother to actually come to the door, she just shouts from where ever she is in the house), it became clear that my services wouldn't be required....

sometimes, I honestly wonder why I bother trying..........

Anyway, thanks for the advice. Gilly - Yes, I could cope with my DSDs - they are no trouble when they are here... if only the same could be said for their mum!

[bonkerz]

such a shame. I have a DSD and me and her mum are civil but thats about it! Im the one who sorts out pick up and drop offs and i also sort out extra visits etc because DH works. Im the one who has the most contact with DSD mum and it works better that way for me and DH cos DH is a push over!!!