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May be becoming a Lone Parent - Advice?

8 replies

ShockedAtHavingToAskThis · 26/01/2008 16:34

I'm a childminder and want to carry on working but I have no idea of what will happen with finances etc. if me and dh split. Anyone know who I can call to get advice on all this side of things?

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ivykaty44 · 26/01/2008 18:03

Finances - go to entitledto dot com and put your details in there as if you were living along and with your income as a childminder - this will give you an idea of your total income.

You can get a first appointment with a solicitor for free, take all your finance stuff with you and get as much info from sol as you can, although this is only ever a rough quote to what could happen - depends on your ex2b. and what you both want to happen.

CSA will claim 15% of his net income for one child 20% for two children and 25% if there are three children.

hope this helps - anything inparticualr you need to know?

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ShockedAtHavingToAskThis · 26/01/2008 18:09

Thanks for that.

CSA could be a problem to start with as he was recently made redundant. He has a temp job for couple of months but after that he may be out of work a while.

Also, how do I get him out of the house when we have no money for him to pay for somewhere?

I've one child and another on the way

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ivykaty44 · 26/01/2008 18:13

You can't get him out of the house if he chooses to leave then all well and good - but you can't force him to go.

Do you rent or own?

Could he move in with a relative or friend for a while?

Forget the csa then until he is working properly again.

What are you going to do for maternity leave if you are self employed?

Sorry so many questions, I have been in a similar situation though was pg with 2nd when split up.

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ShockedAtHavingToAskThis · 26/01/2008 18:17

It's not that I desperately want him out of the house, just that he won't see we're split unless that happens and we can't and never will be able to afford to do this as we are. Just not sure on the options as never gone through anything like this.

He has no friends or family he can go to, nor do I (although for me it's harder as if I don't stay here, my business is finished and we loose a lot of income)

We have mortgage.

Maternity leave - having 12 weeks off and getting Maternity Allowance for that time.

How did you manage splitting whilst pregnant? How did you go your seperate ways? I'm so confused, don't know how it all works. Sorry you went through it

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ivykaty44 · 26/01/2008 18:24

Mine was a long time ago - he was having an affair so off he trotted.

It may be the case that when he receives the divorce papers it becomes real - though even at that stage he may go into denial as he is still living in the house.

If you ring around solicitors you can get a free appointment, make a list of all the questions you want answers to and go and ask them, make sure you write down the answers aswell. (its surprising what you forget when you leave the office!!)

Then you can mull over the facts and figures some more.

have you talked to H about spliting and how yyou may split things?

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ShockedAtHavingToAskThis · 26/01/2008 18:28

and for you!!

H and I have talked in the past about this and were supposed to talk about it tonight but guess where I've just come from.......the back garden where I dragged him in the house!!! Ds was worried about him, he'd gone out for a ciggie but we couldn't see him (ds is 4) so I went out to look for him and I found him face down on back garden. He's been drinking a bit of Jack Daniels this afternoon (doesn't normally) and after no lunch warned him I'd be furious if he was in no state to talk tonight. I'm now shaking with anger and told him he's just thrown our marriage down the toilet!!!

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ivykaty44 · 26/01/2008 18:31

Oh dear - he does want to put his head in the sand and hope it will all go away next time dont warn him you want to talk cos that bottle of whisky was a purposley done trick to stop the talk.

Perhaps it would be better to write him a letter, then he will have to read it and it will help you get things of your chest?

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ShockedAtHavingToAskThis · 26/01/2008 18:35

It was HIM who'd said we'd talk about it tonight but it's all been delay delay so yeah, I reckon this was on purpose but I'm fuming he'd behave so drunk that he couldn't walk in front of ds. He' crashed out in bed now, great!

Won't bother with letter, been there, done that, always works at the time but he just can't change, end of

Oh well, he's certainly helping me make my mind up eh!!!

Thanks for letting me let off steam