ex dh, has reduced meny for dd again without telling me why.

[pirategirl]

This is just a rant really, I'm bloody angry but not surprised because since my 'ex husband left he seems to be a law unto himslef, with regards to, behaviour, responsibility and lets face it the ability to string two thoughts together.

He's working as far a s I know, because i was getting x amount, which has now been reduced by half, and we aint talking £££ hear either.

I assume he's working, when he wasnt-- all of last year I got nothing at all, whereas the kids he lives with (hers) got it all, even tho they have 2 dads who give nothing.

How low is it to adjust his debit to me without even saying, and in the week b4 her birthday, when I was the one who got her party together, and al the rest, plus gifts.

I am so fucking pissed off with him, he still has me by the short and curlies, i want to say something, but there is little point, I almost feel like I have said it b4 and it has had no effect. He's such a coward not letting me know, but had the cheek to turn up at dd birthdya party, on MY doorstep with his new partner and her kid, and I was @expected to let him and her kiddie in ( id made it clear I didnt want her there, as my friends and family were gonna be there, and the party was all done by me with not one offer of help at all)plus he started to tell me what a difficult time he'd had with his parents, and wantdme to listen, whic I had to as I was cornered at our child's party, and trying to be civil in front of dd 5.

I hate him, i absolutely cannot fathom him, or begin to understand where the hell my 'lovely' husband has gone.

I hear he's doing tis and doing that, ( like restoration and stuff) and thik oh is that where my £10 has gone. Its bloddy pathetic, but ultimately makes me want to weep, cos its his child he is almost denying.

Oh and another thing !! Get this, in his birthday card he signed it from ( no love) and used his first name and not dad or daddy--WTF is all that about.

[pirategirl]

i meant money, bump

[superloopy]

What a cock!!

Spineless wanker tosspot!

WTF is this "from xxxx" crap? Has he decided that he isn't Dad anymore and not paying for it?

It sounds as though you a lucky to be rid of him but I feel so sorry that your DD is being treated so badly and with such little respect.

[pirategirl]

he is a cock. i loved him so much, i cannot believe he's likethis towards our much wanted and 3yr waited for child.

It's like if there's anyhtinghe can do to blame me or make my life worse he'll do it.

Was I really so blind, was he always like this-- big fat no to both, he has lost it.

I wish he would fuck off much much further away. Sometimes i want to move so we dont have to see him.

He's an intelligent man, i have no idea what has happened to him.

[Nessie21]

Confront him, stick up for you and your child, dont take any of this 'Im having a hard time with it all ' crap. At the end of the day all you have together now is a child what ever goes on in his life is not your problem and you should say this to him as well. As long as you and your DD are happy.
With regards to money, Grass him to the social because its more than likely him or her are benefit frauds, if he's living with her as a partner and has an extra income, etc. , etc. Report him to the CSA.

I'm not one to say who deserves kids and who shouldn't but does he really deserve to be your child dad??

Sorry if this is abrupt but its annoyed me.

Ness

[superloopy]

I agree with everything that nessie21 has said too. She is obviously more articulate when she is annoyed than I am.

His behaviour has pissed me off!!

Is moving away really an option for you? Might be a good idea if it's possible.

I'm sorry that you are having to go through this. x

[pirategirl]

it's cool it would annoy me too! and does.

I have had that many conversations of a similar kind with him ,that i feel i cant be assed to confront him. That would please him no end, as I'm sure he is expecting that.
Even tho i feel angry, and that was my need to vent, i am thinking of just not saying anything, cos whats the point.

Same conclusion, we wont agree, or he wont see my point, cos he has no morals or brain left, and i will be wasting my time.
I have fouhgt my corner hard, many times, but also, my anger now is that i have siad alot and got zilch in return.

I hate keeping my mouth shut, but almost dont want to lower myself, to even show that i give a shit.

I am the lone parent, he has the partner, both 'her' kids are at school, she doesnt work, but i guess they must be getting his wage, her bens of some sort, prob working tax credit, child tax credit, and living in a council house that costs less than mine.

gggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

the csa are crap, and havent sorted anything out yet.

i hate him. and revenge keeps entering my head when i'm this angry, as i have been perfectly civil, and he has ridden roughshod over my emotions and kkind nature for far too long.

i belive in karma, ( gotta have something to belive in)but even thats wearing thin. Sometimes i want to do him serious harm.

[superloopy]

Hey don't worry karma seems to be working!!

The picture you are painting of his new life isn't one that I'm envying! Hardly a fairytale that is for sure!!

As far as the revenge side of things, best not to go down that road as tempting as it is. Just try to rise above it all and be the best Mum you can be. In time your DD will see her dad for what he is - A COCK!!!!

Do you have a good support network of family and friends?

[Nessie21]

Hi, me again,

I know I'm probably not helping but why should you struggle or single handedly with no help and raise your dd while they get it easy and not give a shit.

This is what she will be getting

CTC for two children say £60-£65 PW ( thats how much someone i know gets and both partners work and are declared living together)
Child Benefit - £18 Per week
Income support £60 pw ( if shes not working and not declaired your x as living with her)

Because shes on income support she will get full housing benefit and council tax benefit

Plus his wage

thats allot of money

[pirategirl]

so would that be 2 x £18 for the children?

I dont think she can get inc support, as they are living together officially. But I do think they would get about £45 working tax credit, plus his wage, plus of course the child tax credit.

Lots of women are in the same boat as me, its nauseating, they can just walk away emotionally, and practically, and also they dont even get to see their wallets officially affected.

its it so wrong.

I will try to rise above it, I will.

xx

[Tinkerbel5]

pirategirl he is trying to wind you up so you will bite, dont take the bait, how pathetic does he look not even signing his daughter's birthday card with 'daddy', he is something else