Going to see a lawyer in regards to my xp, anyone any experience?

[Aimsmum]

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[Caligula]

It sounds very reasonable.

I haven't been through this, maybe someone else will come along who has.

Good luck with it.

[CarGirl]

No real experience saw a good solicitor as dh xdw was a nutter - her said give her enough rope by you being utterly reasonable and putting stuff nicel in writing etc and she will hang hersaeld which she did!

What you are asking for is very reasonable under the circumstances and he will come across as an idiot if he gets arsey etc. This will stand you in good steed if it ends up in court at the future.

Hopefully it will just give a good kick and bring him to his senses.

[Aimsmum]

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[wheresthevalium]

Basically you aare looking to get orders from the court, which they aren't too keen on doing. However, if the court sees that it is for the good of the child then they can produce orders to stipulate where visitation must take place, also times etc.

With regards to the emails and him being an arse, I think your best bet is to ask your solicitor to write him a letter asking him to desist. Otherwise you are looking at criminal harassment charges or a restraining order, which unless he has been abusive you are unlikely to manage.

Personally I think you are being completely reasoonable about what you want.

HTH

[kellogs]

Keep copies of all emails & texts, log all phone calls. Have another person with you when he brings the child back. That way you're gathering enough evidence if you do go to court & you do end up needing an order stopping him from having contact with you other than discussions regarding the child. That will also mean he won't have a leg to stand on if you can give evidence of his unreasonable behaviour.

[Aimsmum]

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[Harra]

Agree with other posts. Have everything written down. Write down what you want to discuss - point form I find easiest. Try not to cry as I did (expensive tears as their clock is ticking) then hopefully you will be in and out as quick as possible for minimual cost.
Your idea of access at this time sounds very fair IMO. Read your other posts about bullying xp xgirlfriend and thought you handled it brilliantly - don't think I could have been so cool. Good luck.

[Aimsmum]

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[kellogs]

For some reason some (not all) xp think they are in control & that they are in the right cos they fathered a child. That doesn't automatically make them a daddy!! It took me a long time to realise with my xh i was in control & not him. Hence the fact that his 2nd marriage was a failure & my life got better. Luckily for me he doesn't see his 12 yr old son & my son gets on better with my partner of 7 yrs. (sometimes better than i get on with him )

[brandy7]

hi

ive been nosing around on other forums for a few weeks as im sick of the court process and wanted to see what happens with other mothers. i found a lot of mothers go for a "harrasment" order if the ex is sending abusive texts, phone calls etc and with regards to access apparently the normal is every other weekend (not that you have to agree to that) and a lot of fathers now get a few weeks in the summer, one half term week and 3 consecutive days at xmas!

wouldnt advise the courts to be honest

[smllwche]

Hi Brandy,
I know where you are coming from i have had exactly the same prob from my ex! i went and saw a solictor who agreed straight away that an injunction was to be put on to stop him harassing me in any form he was then given a chance to have his say which went to court i was supplied with a barrister (legal aid) so i did not have to say nothing he did all the talking for me well they dont really ever lift injunctions but the barrister also asked for a occupancy injunction which stopped him coming to my house or sending anyone else round to harras me or the kids...sorry the injunction u need is a non molestation injunction ... good luck and i hope i have been some help..

[Aimsmum]

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[MagicalMay]

Hello i just wanted to say im going through solicitors at the mo (long story , wont go into it)
From DD's birth i wrote every txt, phone converstation, visit etc in a diary with the times etc. Also when i 1st went to the solicitors (when DD was 11mths) They said it was good to get it all the things that were going on documentated - its better then he said she said if it does go to court. In the solicitors letters from him he has been lying through his teeth (eg said non of his family was every allowed down to see DD - i have photos of all his family coming down many times!) At the mo he has no idea of all the evedence i have - im keeping it under my hat untill we go to court - as i know it will soon. Then i will show everything, he will look like a real stupid jerk
I also agree with CarGirl + Kellogs - If you come across as being reasonable then he will just look stupid and this will go in ur favour, im not saying be easy + to giving - be strong + firm but stay to the facts + be reasonable, It will help in the long run. What you have said on here does seem very very very reasonable - its something that the solicitor would be more than happy to put into place - it also shows you have your daughters welfare inmind.
Also keep all evedence on paper, dont trust computers etc incase they crash - then you've lost it all.

[Debra1981]

hi, i've received quite a bit of phone harassment- every couple of weeks, ex would call several times in one day, some abusive, some just basically begging me back, other times moaning about how hard life is (implying that's my fault/responsibility to at least sympathise..). and basically keeping me from my day-to-day activities by keeping me on phone. police were reluctant to help, logged reported harassment each time but said he couldnt really be charged with anything. when i first got solicitor, also wasnt good, he was happy to let unsupervised contact with dd continue even after he assaulted me, so i changed, new one has sent formal warning re phone calls threatening court injunction, and simultaneously ex has also finally had a warning from police (officer on duty i spoke to one time turned out to be one who actually wanted to do job properly), both saying he can only communicate with me regarding dd. this has worked (touch wood) without going to court. contact is now 2 hrs per week at a contact centre. looking at other people's experiences i still can't decide whether court is good or bad or if i should be pushing for less contact.