Lonely

[Morgani97]

I'm a single mum have a 13 year old. All I seem to do is go to work come home,cook clean and nothing much else. The day times aren't so bad but evenings and weekends I feel so alone. My child has a pretty active life has loads of friends and is very together. I can't put this on her I feel ashamed I'm even writing this I've tried going out with friends etc but feeling so alone it's overwhelming

[1DAD2KIDS]

Dito. I have a 1 YO and a 5 YO. Full time work, Kids that need full time attention, house work. I literally don't get time to sit down. I am knackered and it is a lonely place. So I get your there.

Maybe in away I don't get the time to be too lonely. If you not mind me asking do you think you are more lonely now because you have a teenagers who can do things for them self and is pretty active? Do you think having more time to your self has made you more lonely?

[Morgani97]

Thank you for your reply 1DAD2KIDS,yes you're probably right having more time to myself does make it worse. I try to keep busy during the evenings and weekends but there's only so much I can do. It helps that I actually like my job but I drag my feet when the working day is over. Self pity isn't attractive i know that,I just miss adult conversation.

[1DAD2KIDS]

I think its time to see your free time and growing independence from your kids as a great opportunity. Now is the time to get out their.

Is there any activities/hobbies you like to do out of the home? Maybe some exercise classes? You'll meet new people and its great for feeling good and mental wellbeing as much as it is for physical health. If you not already it could really give you the boost you need.

Just remember now is a time of opportunity.

[Morgani97]

You sound very optimistic I don't have any hobbies outside the home. I take the dog out twice a day which actually makes me feel better,it's just adult company and conversation I miss most. I hate feeling so low I'm not that confident to just walk in somewhere on my own,yet in work I'm totally different just put a mask on and have a happy confident face on cant seem to carry it on after work though.

[1DAD2KIDS]

I like to be, I am optimistic by nature. Its way I get through life. Like I say I rarely get 30mins to rest, it no exaggeration. With two little rascals running around I am always on the go. To be fair sometimes work is like a rest. If I get some time I like travel, walking, outdoors adventures, to make/repair things in my garage and a bit of home brew. I squeeze the gym 3 or 4 times a week on the way to or from work. Unfortunately I am rarely free when there are classes on. I have played rugby since my teens but I just don't have the free time anymore. I am hopeful of finding some time to get back into 5 and/or 10 km road races, I used enjoy them when I was in the RAF (and so I could get the afternoon of work). I may not look like a runner (6 foot large build) but I often surprise people with my time. I think my Rugby days are over but I definitely look forward to I time I can get stuck into my old hobbies.

Yes I miss adult company. My life is surrounded by nappies, toys and kids tv. I have found some time to catch up with friends and a little bit of time causal dating. So that has been a lot fun. I have met some lovely women and had some fun adventures and laughs . But I do miss having a soul mate around. Someone to cuddled up with, laugh with and just to be there. Maybe when the kids have grown up I would like to seek true love again.

Its a funny old thing I was never very confident. But I have been through so much the last year and a half. I have learnt so much about my self lately. I have come bouncing back from almost the bottom of the barrel. I am now more confident than I have ever been in my life. Maybe it helps not having my ex wife to put me down or convince me that people close to me don't like me (but that an other story). I have realised that only you can make things better. So when I can I have been biting the bullet and getting stuck in socialising, even with strangers and randoms.

What is your social circle like? Have you got anyone who would come with you to something? I definitely think some kind of hobby or group would be a good way to start engaging in conversation with mutually interested people. Is there anything outside the home you would like to do or try?