Can I have a single parent opinion please?

[LillianaVess]

Hi
I've been a single mum for around 3 years. I live with my DMum and my DS is 9.

I have been given my redundancy notice where I work, but have been given an opportunity to move around 80 miles (1.5 hours away) to another office.
I'm very tempted to move, I cannot afford to live in the town I am in at the moment on my own with DS. It's a lot cheaper up where I would move to.

But because I live with mum I have been in a sort of perpetual teenager life where she doesn't let me parent DS exactly how I would want to, but also I have a built in babysitter.

DS would be moving into year 6 in September & would need to move schools. I don't even know how to do this!

Would you go? I have so much going on in my head at the moment.
In my town there are jobs, but not necessarily high enough wage, I live by two cities where there are more opportunities. But that would mean even more time away from DS.

DSs dad seems alright with it, I'd come back every weekend so he could see him (his dad is a lazy bugger so wouldn't make the effort to see his own son if I didn't facilitate it)

Thank you so much if you've managed to read through all this. I just need input from people that aren't my mum really!

[ImperialBlether]

I think it's really hard to have an adult relationship with your mum if you live together. You need to be able to parent your child as you wish, without her scrutinising your every move. It sounds like a great opportunity to move jobs and to live in a cheaper area.

Is the new area somewhere you would like to live? Would it be a safe and lively place for your son to grow up?

[LillianaVess]

Thanks for getting through that!
I have friends up in the office already who are giving me advice on places to avoid etc. But I think it is yes, it's near Newcastle and when ever I've been to visit it's been good.
I just have all these thoughts spewing through my mind and guilt too for thinking of taking DS away from his nana and school/cubs etc

[ImperialBlether]

You're not emigrating! And if your mum had let you be an adult and a parent, you might not be thinking of going. Your son will have new clubs to go to and will soon make friends. If you've already got friends up there, that's fantastic. I'd go and start a new life for yourself there, but I wouldn't make promises about being back every single weekend - sometimes people will have to travel to you.

[LillianaVess]

Haha! Thanks Imperial ☺️
Yes I know I'm over thinking it!

[LillianaVess]

This is what I like about mumsnet - a bit of perspective

[ImperialBlether]

I think your mum will probably have something to say about your move, but you'll have to ask her then whether she thought you would live with her forever. Time to move on now and hopefully meet someone nice up there (love the Newcastle accent!)