How the hell do i move forward and get back my life? With 4 on my own

[hurtwife]

Well the title says it all.
How do i move on now being on my own with 4. At the moment as it is all early days we are trying to stay friends but i am sure this will change, I am finding it hard to let him see the children although i know i must.
I just want to know there are others out there and that i will get a new life. I need to get out and meet new people but dont really know how to do that.
This was just not in my life plan and i am finding it so hard.
HELP

[Dior]

Message withdrawn

[Judy1234]

They will want to see their father and presumably you want a break, chance to go to job interviews, his help with child care etc so loads of reasons to foist them on him, break up his cosy new love nest, make him realise his life is much much harder now, paying for two homes and a huge lot more child care than he has ever been used to whilst trying to keep the lover happy too. He's going to rue the day if you play this right... Meanwhile he sees you in new outfits going out with an attractive man (drum up someone's brother for a very public night out) whilst he stays in babysitting at his tiny new flat.

[HazelnutsDoesNotDrink]

I had to break up with my now xp2. I have 3 DC ages from 2 years to nearly 7 years! I have ME (CFS) as well. There have been times at the end of last year (seem weird putting last year) My Mum helped me. I was really ill and had to go in to hospital. I sure you will have someone for back up if you ex does not help you. If you really need them.

I am doing ok being a single mum. I thought it was going to be really hard and I would not cope. But I can cope. Things will get easier for you as time goes by.

The hardest bit in my life atm is my xp1. He is making our lifes hell. Most likey b/c he had to see his DSs. (long story) He did not want to be seem as not wanting to see them. Hes doing it all again now, saying I wont let him, when it really he does not want to see them.

I know its a hard thing to do, but let your ex do what he wants with the children. I dont mean mess them around!! but let him see them but if he does not want too then dont try and make him.
I have found out the hard way what ex`s can be like if made to see their children. Its easier if you just dont bother to try and make them. My xp1 now tries to turn everything on to me. It much easier to look after your DC yourself, rather than making your ex help you. That just makes life hell and even harder to bring up your DC.
Dont let him push you or Dc around, with one minute seeing them and then the next minute not. Days and times need to be sorted. There will be times when they need changing. for you and for him, but try and stick to the time table. Remember that he has the DC on x days/times and he must do the same back for you. If you can both do this them single life for you can be fun.

Try not to fight, its not good for your DC and its not good for you either. It only makes life hard. My mum (step mum) told me a lot of things that have helped me. She said the more you worry about getting your own back, the harder it gets. I have I learnt that the hard way and I was not the one that made xp1 see his DSs

Wishing you all the best.

[AMAZINWOMAN]

when kids are a bit older, you can do courses while they are in school. In meantime, go to local mother and baby groups.

get kids to help around the house, to make life a bit easier. If kids done 5 mins tidying up-thats saves yo 20 minutes!

i dont have any support at all, and yes its difficult-but you get much closer to your kids. the love from them keeps me going