12 year old wants to live with her dad (after an argument between me and her over boundaries and consequences)
we have joint parental responsibility but she has lived with me for the last 8 years (since I left him)
No court order but there is an undertaking in place (for him to return her after contact and me to let her go)
Situation acrimonious for years he has blocked my email and phone numbers and refuses to speak to me in person.
But lifted his email block this week to send a short message saying I must give him written consent for her to live with him or he will take me to court for residency.
School/children's centre etc have informally advised me to put nothing in writing,but they have no legal knowledge on this.
I am not going to fight her going (I did when she was younger and won) as she is old enough now that if we went to court they would listen to her and I feel she needs to be in control of her own decisions, plus she'll resent me more if I try and stop her and no doubt be more determined to go.
My worry is:
If I DO put into writing that she can live with him and she changes her mind after a few weeks there (highly likely, she doesn't get on with stepmum and came home last summer after only 1 week of her 3 weeks contact time),then will I have problems because I have given him permission to have her live with him? He is likely to make it as difficult as possible for her to come back to me.
If I DON'T put it into writing, and we end up in court, will I have done the wrong thing by not co-operating, therefore making the situation worse for myself and possibly having residency legally granted to him rather than just informally if I email my consent to him?
Any one know? Can't find a thing out about this online and can't afford legal advice.
Plus... I will not be able to pick her up for contact with me as it's over 100 miles away and I am not up to that journey, being inexperienced driver and exhausted with baby, so she will not get contact with me every other weekend like she does with him. Not sure how she will get any contact with me at all.
I responded to his email saying that she is under the impression that he will be bringing her back to me every 2 weeks for contact (he currently does the drive for his own contact with her) and he didn't respond to me but texted her to say he hadn't had any emails from me. I re-sent it (yes, the address is correct!) but still nothing,so I suspect he is playing games as doesn't want to admit to her/me that he won't bring her back here. There's no way he would, as took me to court a couple of years ago to try and make me do the driving (he lost).
I was wondering if I could say I give my permission for her to stay with him for one school term and then review the situation, to try and cover myself in some way, but have no idea what that would be worth?
If I don't give my permission we will definitely end up in court.
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12 year old DD wants to move in with her dad
11 replies
hodgehegs · 29/01/2016 16:23
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