Hello lovely people out there. I have struggled on for the last few years and am now finally moved to post a call for help and advice. I will abbreviate some things as my situation is so particular worried about being spotted. 5 or years ago my financially abusive ex develops a form of Leuk which is treated after 2 yrs by a bmt one easter. Then 10 days before Christmas I get a letter from his solicitor saying he's put in for a divorce. I have no access to money, and bailed out by my father agree to mediation as I think it'll be the most cost effective solution. I have no idea how unreasonable he is going to be. The only income I have is from a job he sub-contracts me out to do through his consultancy business of which he pays me some (works out about minimum wage). No joint account. (I have 2 daughters still at home with me one of which has diab type 1). He wont move out of the family home and my daughters and I end up sharing a room. A letter has to be sent to his solicitor due to his aggressive behaviour, but his solicitor is much more assertive than mine (he still boasts to the children that his ran rings round mine). The short and long of it is that because of his illness (from which at this point he is expected to make a full recovery) we have to sell the family home. I am awarded £1 a year marital. The proceeds are allocated towards the end of the process at which point he then buys a house with £80k more than he had allocated (!!!???). I go to insure my car to find he cancelled the policy on my car 3 months before. Finally, a year ago we move and I try to move forward. 6 weeks ago I find I have breast cancer and two weeks ago had an operation. My ex, (who knows about this) sent an email the day I came out of hospital saying that as he is going to be retiring early due to ill health (from a £60k job in university + consultancy) he is proposing to halve my child maintenance. I earn £7k a year and rely on this part of my income.
Now here's my question - he is going to receive a large lump sum on retirement, plus his earnings for this tax year are at least (9/12ths) of £60k as retirement will commence at end of this calendar year.
Will the child maintenance people take this into consideration ? I phoned and they didnt know. I am so worried as I only get paid for the hours I work and if I need much treatment I might not be able to work at all. Also, how good are they at working on leads - I am sure he has been doing extra consultancy which he may be deferring payment of until an agreement has been reached.
If you are still reading this then thank you and apologies for the ramble. He was recently described as dark and destructive by one of his colleagues and threatened me. He can be very charming and I dont know how many people believed me....
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Ex planning on cutting Child Maintenance although he will have Lump Sum from Early Retirement
4 replies
Schadenfreude999 · 19/11/2015 20:49
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