I don't even know if I should be posting this or not. I'm not sure if anyone can really help or even if i deserve any help. Or even what kind of help i need! I guess i just want to 'sound off'.
I've been with my DH for 4 years, we have a DD 18 months. To everyone around us, we are the perfect family. Sometimes I think we are too but mainly, i think that myself and my DH are just completely incompatable. There is a big culture clash, he is Jamaican and Im english (altho I am mixed with jamaican, so do have experience with black culture) But his way of thinking, speaking and acting is so intrinsictly (sp) different.That we argue all the time.
Our conversations just never ever seem to flow because one of us will say something that the other doesn't understand or gets offended by something not even meant the way the other takes it. To actually complete a conversation it would take a mediator (Im quite sure of it!)
To top it all, we are having problems with my partners immigration status and so he hasnt been able to work for quite sometime and there is a chance he will have to go home to make a fresh application. This has been high stress and at first i didnt want him to go but now i think the break would do us wonders. But Im not sure we will even make it to that stage because our rows are reaching an all new low and sometimes i just want him to get out but he has nowhere to go and so he never does go anywhere.
On the one hand, I can see how his self esteem has taken a battering from having to stay home and watch me go out and work or out with friends(he doesnt have many friends either)So I do sympathise in someways but because he can be such a horror when we argue, i find that my patience runs thin. I too have turned into a horror. (we used to be such pleasent people I am sure we bring out the worst in each other.)
I just dont know what to do, this isnt really even the tip of the iceberg but my post-pregnancy brain gets muddled so easily! Reading some of these posts where the men are just hopeless or missing or horrible. I feel that I should be grateful for my man who is home everynight and cooks and cleans and mostly tries. He is a handsome man but I dont really fancy him anymore either (after the baby ive gone off sex altogether) Maybe its just me.
Sometimes, i just want to be alone because then there will be noone to wind me up and critize me. But then i feel bad for DD who loves her daddy so much. Should I try and sort this out? Or has it gone too far? My DH reckons (first time ever) that hes had enough now and is going to leave. Im sure I could talk him around if I wanted to, i just dont know if i do. ARGHHHHH! relationships are shit.
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Should I go it alone...? (long)
9 replies
Snailpace · 27/11/2006 19:07
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