Can;t stop crying, what have I done wrong?

[BernieBear]

I just don?t know what to do or think or what I have done wrong? I am a single mum who has a ds (2.7). He sees his Dad every other weekend from Friday til Sunday and the interim Friday for the day. Additionally he is/will have approx. 4 weeks a year (a week at a time) with him. If ever his Dad has a problem with the days or arrangements I make sure things are changed round because my ds adores his Dad and it is important to my ds. (although it kills me inside). We have just come back from a couple of days away with some friends and my ds had the best time (as did I as this was my first time away with him). However once we got home he said ?not Mummy?. When I said what is not Mummy he said that he didn?t love Mummy, only Daddy.?. I am heartbroken, I do everything for/with him even to my own detriment (i.e. letting him go for those weekends/weeks). We haven?t had any problems, he gets loads of hugs, love and positive reinforcement. What on earth am I doing wrong. I know they can go through phases of this but I thought it was a few years a way yet. He has, from about 16 months old tended to be a Daddy?s boy and sometimes doesn?t even seem happy to see me after a weekend. I am just so upset and can?t stop crying (away from ds). I didn?t react when he said it, but just can?t work out where this came from/what caused it? Does anyone have any ideas/advice/wine???????? Also put this on parenting board.

[anorak]

I think they all go through spells of this, it's normal. I know it can hurt but try not to let it get to you. If he doesn't get a reaction he might stop it.

[wheelsonthebus]

you have done absolutely nothing wrong. my dd says this sometimes ("mummy go!" - points at door, or "daddy's lap" when I desperately want a cuddle). can be a bit upsetting, but i am around her the most, and she likes the novelty of a fresher face sometimes. don't upset yourself. it definitely is a phase.

[rosie79]

BernieBear you've done nothing wrong!! Of course it's really upsetting when kids say things like this but at your ds's age he most definately doesn't mean it! Not in the way you might interpret it anyway.

You did the right thing by not reacting. He might just be missing his daddy and feeling a bit confused after being away for the first time with you to somewhere new. Try not to worry about it.

[gisi]

I can understand what you are feeling, but I can tell you: that's perfectly normal, even when they have poth their parents around.
I know that my dd loves me, but sometimes she says or does things that hurt me. I think that's when they have feelings they don't know how to handle and the easiest way is to get a reaction is this.
We'll get through this phases (only one friend of mine has a dd who has never ever done that, at least my friend says so )
Lots of strength to get through it G xxx

[ginmummy]

BernieBear - it's not you!! Your ds is just getting to grips with the concept of love and he doesn't appreciate yet that it's not nice to tell somebody he doesn't love them, and I honestly don't think he means anything serious by it.

If he says it again try giving him a great big hug and planting a big wet kiss on his cheek and saying 'well I love you' and see if that affirms what love means any better.

[BernieBear]

Thank you all for your words, and apologies for delay in replying, ds just come down with bad cold/sore throat thing so am lurking with the Tixylix! You words really helped to pop me back on the straight and narrow. I think we were both a bit overtired to be honest. Also I now realise that in fact this is probably my "bugbear" as his father once, rather nastily, said that our ds will want to live with him in the end anyway. It is always in the back of my mind so when that happened I probably reacted to the threat rather than what my ds said. Anyway, thanks again. It is great to know there is somewhere I can come it times of "crisis".