Why are they legally allowed to get away with this crap?

[honey86]

Was on the recieving end of another volatile outburst from exFW when i didnt give him whatever he demands r.e. Ds.
Since then its all stonewalling cold shoulder ignore all texts/calls shite. He goes for a few weeks like this then eventually turns up requesting contact again. In the meantime he gasses on about his misogynistic views how women are slowly forcing all the dads of the world out etc etc.
How's this fair? RPs cant just walk in n out like he does, he vanishes when hes in a strop or things dont go his way, yet if he was to come back and for me to tell him to jog on, off to court he could go n just get contact. There needs to be a law against people like him to stop their games. So fed up of going round in circles x

[Caterpillarmum]

Next time you go to court back up your case with evidence of sporadic contact.

There should be laws against it, same as there should be laws against RP playing games with access to children and contact time if their every whim isn't met.

[starlight1234]

I had very infrequent contact. I went to court as I felt at least if he failed to stick to court order contact would not keep e restarted.

He did however pull out before court and no word since

[honey86]

He put on fb that hes going for a pissup in spain! He told me he cant afford CM or contact centre! But he can afford holidays abroad? Rahh tightwad hasnt paid abloody penny towards ds!

[starlight1234]

Contact CMS about payment. He should be paying.

[meglet]

You're right. There should be a law, or something. They're adults, they can have a certain number of chances to get their shit together, then they have to keep away.

I was lucky, I gave XP 6 months to see the dc's regularly, then mediation and contact centre (didn't turn up), and we haven't heard from him in 5yrs.

[stubbornstains]

I don't think he could "just" go to court and get contact, in light of his behaviour. Not if you've been keeping a record of all communications, arrangements made, arrangements broken etc.

DS's dad is fairly similar, although there has been less contact since DS's birth. Eventually, he agreed to attend mediation re: setting up a regular contact arrangement several months ago. The mediator couldn't have been clearer that if he broke the contact agreement he would severely jeopardise his chances of ever getting contact through the courts. Three visits later, he did just that . But at least I know now that any threats he might make to take me to court are groundless.

[honey86]

Thats awful :( ive never understood how anyone, man or woman, regardless of circumstances, wouldnt bother seeing their kids or to put money before them. Where the hell are their maternal/paternal instincts?
Ive been considering cms for a while. His ex-wife applied and got a barrage of abuse and smear campaign in return. So far hes managed to avade paying somehow. He told me its because he doesnt see why he should when he isnt allowed unsupervised contact with his dd, and he doesnt want her having control over how his money is spent. I think he questioned parentage or claimed hardship or something to get out of it. Yes he really is that selfish and controlling.
But thats why i havent yet, cos im wondering if theres any point, as id be charged for the service, if he can pull the wool over their eyes. All that aside, its the principle, youd think hed want to chip in at least to show his ds that he bothered somehow

[niceguy2]

Now legal aid has been withdrawn this can sometimes be an advantage. Ie. If you make him go to court for contact this will test his commitment.

If you keep letting him cherry pick contact then he will keep doing so.

But if he has to actually put his hand deep into his pockets then either he will not bother. Or he'll value the money he's spent to get contact and not relish the idea of having to go back because he broke the order.