Hi. I am not divorced yet but am wholeheartedly planning it (without DH knowing yet... I want to talk to a lawyer first).
Anyway, I am originally from continental Europe and currently live in a part of London which I have always wanted to move away from for DC's secondary school years.
To put some light on, "D"H is a typical "bachelor husband", only cares for himself, does not share "his" money, comes and goes as pleases, does not engage with DC at all (and I mean it - does not take them anywhere, does not join into mealtimes, does not do bedtime, does not read books for them, does not play with them, does not discipline, does not do homework, is a crap role model which is all very very sad as DC are two boys but I am being a mum and a dad for them). He contemplated taking job contracts away from home, this is just to show that he does not care enough to watch his DC grow.
H's job is not too far away from our current home so I assume he will stay in the area. I have three options:
- move within 5 miles radius to the best affordable area, commute to the current primary and stay nearby to H.
- move to opposite side of London (smaller town rather than London, I've always wanted to live there but could not because of H's job), assume overall better quality of life but be about 40 miles away from H.
- relocate to my home country, live with/near my parents (assuming H agrees with the move). I don't intend to limit the access, but possibly more during school hols. Life quality would increase massively being green, safe, slower-paced enviroment where children walk from school by themselves from the age of 7. My dad is an excellent male role model. Much much much better example than H.
(another small poin is my aging parents who may need care later and I would like to be there for them and my DC to see the old-young generation taking care for each other).
I don't need to rush decisions but needless to say I am very tempted by option 3).
But perhaps a crap dad nearby (who may want or may not want to see his DC) is still better than a better quality of life?
Any insight on this?
Thanks!