How do you deal with the anger and bitterness?

[Janos]

I feel so terrible, but I am finding it really hard to move past feeling this way about my Ex. He just seems to go out of his way to wind me up and make me feel bad. I'm sat here seething right now

Really need to get over this for the sake of our wee man.

[TambaTheDragonSlayer]

Sex. And lots of it. Seriously - It works for me.

[Janos]

Chance would be a fine thing, Tamba

Ex just really knows how to push my buttons and he does, in spades. Had the cheek to ask me if I would look after DS so he could go and stay with his girlfriend. I calmly said no, but was seething inside.

[LittleSarah]

It has been almost 3 years for me but I still find I feel resentful at times! I just try not to dwell on it, remind myself of why he is not the one for me, incredibly selfish, etc, etc!

Today I gave some stuff away on Freecycle and he really pissed me off because one of the things was the buggy he got me for dd. Even though I used it loads and am now not he was all, 'but I paid £250 for that! You should sell it blah, balh.' He made it sound like it was concern for my finances but really it was just, I paid for it, you can't give it away!

This from the guy (who is a great dad I must add) who uses MY travel cot - which some GAVE me - everytime dd stays at his!

[Judy1234]

I wish it could just be disappeared away. it's the continuing consequences of having been together which make it continue for me, the very day effects of his lack of support or contact with the children and what I had to pay him so it's a constant reminder - whereas if he helped properly or contributed financially or hadn't demanded the money he had there wouldn't be 15 years + of adverse consequences for me and no reminders of him.

[sheepgomeep]

I can really sympathise. my ex is still acting a tosser even though we have been split up 2 and a half years.

At the moment aged 29 he is living with his 19 year old girlfriend at her mums and refuses to have the kids to stay. His mum kicked him out because of his tosserish ways.

Now he is on speaking terms with his mum (she sometimes has the kids overnight although its rare)she finds it hard to cope with two kids and has asked for his help in putting his kids to bed but he always refuses saying he is too busy ie he takes his bimbobitch for meals out, clubbing etc

As a result he hasn't put his kids to bed for a year or had them overnight at all.

He gets himself a good job in a factory, working 4 on and 4 off, fair enough but it has completely buggered up my job as he can't have the kids and his gf wont help because and i quote 'why should I, they are not mine and i've got a life'

He hasn't paid me maintenance for four months because he 'has no money' yet he just bought himself a brand new yamaha motorbike with the house sale proceeds. Mine went on paying off all the debt he left me on when he ran off with bimbo bitch over 2 and a half years ago. He's also taking above bimbo away for the weekend without telling me so I've now got to find childcare for that weekend (dp is on nights and isn't living with me at mo)

He accuses me of being unable to find a house to live because of bad credit rating which he blamed me for!! later admits its not me but him.

unfortunately kids think the world of him and its not my place to fill them in. Hopefully one day they will find out for themselves.

Janos I think you'll maybe feel irritation with your ex for a long time. I hate mine with a passion now but still feel sad now and again as he used to be lovely. I just privately call his g/f bimbobitch and for some reason makes me feel better

[Judy1234]

You're lucky in a way the children think the world of him. My older ones don't. No contact at all between them and him which I blame him for. I don't understand in our case how someone who regularly put children to bed on his own, may be 2 nights a week if I was working late can go from that to nothing. Lives 5 mins away in 5 bed unmortgaged detached house and never once had any of the 5 children to stay.