First time single parent

[queeniebee]

I am about to become a single parent for the first time of 2 boys. 4 and 2 years old.

I feel so sad for them as their dad will be leaving country so visits will be infrequent.

He has lied, has drug/drink issues and i had to end it for my sanity.

How did you cope? How did your babies cope? I think we will be happier but I am scared I am going to ruin their lives (aware this sounds extreme).

How did you tell them? I'm not sure what to tell eldest as he loves him.

Any advice appreciated.

[starlight1234]

My DS was 10 months when we left so have never actually told him now I think about it...

However there was also drugs and no trust due to lies, walked on eggshells.. Son physically relaxed when we were away from home and slept better than he had in months. So I knew that night it was the right thing..

You might feel like you are going to ruin there life but it is his behaviour that means you can't be together not yours..

I also think without all the drugs wading through the lies, life becomes much simpler.

[queeniebee]

I know it's his fault but you can't tell a child that.
I don't think I could ever tell them all he has done.
It's embarrassing to think what I have put up with yet he thinks he has done nothing wrong.

[Minime85]

hi I am so sorry you and dcs are in this situation. my ex and I told our dds together. we explained we didn't want to be together anymore that we both loved them and always would but we just needed to be friends.

do they see him regularly now? if not that may help if it will be infrequent. your dcs will adjust and I have found they adjust well and quickly really.

maybe they will be able to Skype of face time him?