HELP!My ex is threatening to block my DD's school choice!!

(89 Posts)
ROZ12 Mon 24-Mar-14 11:56:54

Hi all

What shall I do My ex is not consenting to my DD's high school choice and is saying he will block it via court/ It's a private school and she worked hard to get in and I'm paying full fees, he has refused to help with fees. But as he has legal responsibility he needs to sign for. The deadline is this Friday how do I get a signature? He is annoyed I said no to Thursday overnight contact therefore not helping with fees nor signing form.

What shall I do. My DD is wanting the school and not happy to go to local comp. She is too scared of her father to discuss with him.

Please advise.

NigellasDealer Mon 24-Mar-14 11:59:28

contact the school and tell them that he is not available to sign?

fuzzywuzzy Mon 24-Mar-14 12:03:04

Can you speak to the school? As you're paying the fees and you'll lose your place if everything isn't signed and paid for can you ask the school if you can complete the school admission process without his signature.

I can't see the courts agreeing to send your DD to another school if there's no sesnsible reason for it. You're paying and your DD wants to go and presumably its a very good school.

My ex has no input in our DD's school choice, he isn't paying the fees or anything, I've informed the school of this to be allowed to compelte the admission process, and if he wants to impose his choice he is welcome to make reasonable suggestions (he hasn't tho, he's uttelry disinterested).

ROZ12 Mon 24-Mar-14 12:03:35

I can't lie? He will ring up school and ruin her place. Also I'm worried my DD will get labelled as problem parent child.

titchy Mon 24-Mar-14 12:05:03

Can you get an emergency specific issue order from the court?

ROZ12 Mon 24-Mar-14 12:06:04

My ex does the pick up on Fridays and alternative Thursday he has parental responsibility. Surely that means I have to get his to sign. The actual form says signature required from parents with legal responsibility.

Yes it is a good school.

ROZ12 Mon 24-Mar-14 12:07:01

I can't afford to put in application to court now. I am saving every penny fro fees.

Martorana Mon 24-Mar-14 12:07:54

What"s his reason?

NigellasDealer Mon 24-Mar-14 12:09:19

ok you cannot lie.
what about phoning the school and asking their advice?
does it specifically state that two parents have to sign?

ROZ12 Mon 24-Mar-14 12:09:22

Just that it's not high on league tables.He prefers the other school she got which I have refused as not practical and too expensive. Also DD wants this school.

ROZ12 Mon 24-Mar-14 12:10:57

The form says : Signature required from parents' with legal responsibility. Also a box saying does parent with legal responsibility consent??

Mmmmnotquitesure Mon 24-Mar-14 12:13:14

I've just had this and it was his mum that put the pressure on....

ROZ12 Mon 24-Mar-14 12:14:19

what shall I do?

fuzzywuzzy Mon 24-Mar-14 12:14:43

I'd sign it and send it in.

ROZ12 Mon 24-Mar-14 12:16:07

I'm scared? What about the signature and consent box shall I tick no?

NigellasDealer Mon 24-Mar-14 12:16:24

me too.
he just will not go to court over it, it is all bluster and bs.
she has passed an exam to go there? she wants to go there? and you are going to be able to pay the fees without his help?
pff tell him to do one.

Thumbwitch Mon 24-Mar-14 12:19:58

No, don't tick no, just leave it blank. Wait for them to check it and ask you about it, if you don't want to be proactive and phone them (which I think you should, frankly)

If you have a solicitor and can afford it, ask them how much power your ex actually has in this situation.

ROZ12 Mon 24-Mar-14 12:20:12

I have told him to do one it's the BRITISH JUSTICE SYSTEM!! They have asked me to consult him on all issues to do with my DD and awarded him parental responsibilty!!!

He is very richand always goes to court-he loves court!!

ROZ12 Mon 24-Mar-14 12:22:17

Can't afford lawyer I'm afraid but he can.

I'm not ringing as they already have extended deadline for me and don't want to sound like a problem parent before she has even started. I am proactive but worried about the label y DD will get as it's no fault of her that her parents can't ever agree.

Just sign it and send it in, call the school warn them he might call, explain you are paying fees and she will be attending the school, he is not going to take you to court, if he does they will laugh him out of court room, so no problem. If you have refused other school she wont have place there anymore anyway.

3xcookedchips Mon 24-Mar-14 12:27:09

You probably need to post this in the Legal board.

My guess is (IANAL) is the school is fulfilling the legal requirement to get consent from all that have PR - otherwise it could cause them a heap of trouble after the fact if there were subsequent objections and they didn't get the necessary agreements.

PR does mean that BOTH parents need to be consulted on Educational matters.

JabberJabberJay Mon 24-Mar-14 12:32:52

You really only have 2 choices if you don't want to approach a lawyer.

1. Sign the form yourself. Leave his section blank and see if the school notice/care.

2. Be proactive. Phone the school, explain the situation and ask what they suggest. This seems far the better option to me.

I wouldn't be concerned at all about your daughter being 'labelled' in any way. For a start, admin are usually separate from teaching staff so those teaching your DD would have no reason to know. It is also not your fault your ex is being difficult.

'Problem parents' tend to be the ones who enrol their kids then don't pay the fees. Not ones like you who can and will pay.

Phone them today OP. There's really nothing else you can do.

ROZ12 Mon 24-Mar-14 12:34:42

Yes but I need to tell them ny Friday and he is not consenting so 3Xcookedchips what shall I do by Friday?

zzzzz Mon 24-Mar-14 12:37:18

Give in to the Thursday night thing till he's signed and she's settled and then go back to normal?

Martorana Mon 24-Mar-14 12:40:32

The school needs to know that you and your dd's father are at odds. You won't be the only ones, trust me!

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