how do you meet a new partner?

(12 Posts)
dolphinsandwhales Sat 22-Mar-14 09:38:53

Hello, I've been a single parent for six months now, I'm 34. I'm getting used to the lifestyle, ie wake up when dd (2yo) wakes at 6, work all day, collect her from cm, watch cbeebies for an hour and feel guilty but too tired to do anything more...bath and bed for dd, then cleaning and washing, packed lunch made and about 9pm I sit down for an hour and read/tv, before going to bed and repeating all the next day.

I'm wondering how/whether I'll ever meet a new partner?I feel a bit old to go looking a dates in bars, internet dating is a bit daunting and no one at work I'm keen on. I'm not desperate for a relationship, the last one was bad enough! But I feel quite depressed by the prospect of never having romance ever again, always living this exhausting life doing the mother/worker/housekeeping/diy etc.

dolphinsandwhales Sat 22-Mar-14 09:40:07

If anyone has any tips/experience/ideas please gratefully received :-)

ElBumpo Sat 22-Mar-14 10:21:15

I went with Internet dating which worked for me. You can dip in and out as you choose, can be upfront about the fact you have children and can block the sleazes ;)

noisytoys Sat 22-Mar-14 10:24:03

I'm dating an old friend. It was weird at first and took a lot of getting used to but it's great because I know already that I trust him and don't have to worry about the the infatuation stage ending and not liking what's left because I already know I like what's left smile

breaking2bad Sat 22-Mar-14 13:40:44

Im in a similar situation. All my friends are married and their friends are married etc etc. I have a few relatives that have single friends but it feels a bit weird/desperate for me to ask them to set me up - plus if the other guy didn't like me/reject I'd be embarrassed.

I've just signed up to online dating this week. It freaks the hell out of me if truth be told and I find it uncomfortable and out of my comfort zone. I've found it rude when people look at your profile and then leave it at that or don't reply, but that's OD I suppose.

I've been asked out on a date and whilst I want to meet someone it terrifies me!

Queenofthedrivensnow Sat 22-Mar-14 14:14:01

Same here - think od is the only option!

Minime85 Sat 22-Mar-14 16:24:32

I've recently joined OD and have found it good fun. nice to receive some cheeky messages, ignore those you don't like look or sound of, be 'winked' at and chatting via site.

it is hard to work out how genuine people are but honestly some of the players are really obvious. trying to take it with a pinch of salt. there is a dating thread on relationships it might be worth looking at, I just went on it today. smile

dolphinsandwhales Sat 22-Mar-14 18:39:27

Thanks, sounds like OD is the way forward! It's weird, it seems like only yesterday I was a confident singleton, but fast forward a few years, a failed relationship and s (wonderful) dd and all my confidence is gone!

I will have to start work on a profile :-)

Fairylea Sat 22-Mar-14 18:43:25

I met my dh on plenty of fish smile he was actually the first person I met from there - I chatted to a fair few but they all seemed a bit odd so deleted before I got to the meeting stage. I think i was lucky!

I am twice divorced previously and had a 10 year old dd. We have now been together many years and have a ds 20 months.

I think you have to have an open mind and just go fishing really. Throw back the ones you don't like smile - remember that a free dating site like plenty of fish will have plenty more knobs but overall there are more people so just be ruthless!!

When I met dh I was so nervous I hid behind a bookshelf (we met at a bookshop for a browse and a coffee) and checked him out for a bit before deciding if he was a weirdo or not.

He's definitely a weirdo. But my kind of weirdo.

Benzalkonium Sat 22-Mar-14 19:43:39

Nice stories, fairylea and noisytoys.

I have tried to just improve my social life generally, and invited a family friend I didn't know too well over for dinner... Now we are seeing each other, and neither of us was really looking!

mummyOF4darlings Wed 26-Mar-14 16:42:06

Hi, its not easy. When i was a newly single parent to my daughter 8 years ago was alot easier i met 1 ex at a friends house party but he turned out to be an utter twat. I then met my other 3 childrens dad in a night club my friend knew his friend he was out with was together 4 years on and off again turned out to be a bit of a twat (i have an habit of attracting them).

With 4 kids i turned to internet dating had a few dates and a couple have lasted a few months then fizzled out never found true love. Recently started seeing a lovely guy who is the cousin of my next door neighbour had previously met a few times at their bbqs etc and have said the odd hello to him out and about, we attended his cousins 40th and spent all night in a corner talking and really hit it off, its still very new so far really like him hope not jinxing it.

I think the key is not to go out and look and see what happens. Internet is way to go i think though just be careful x

RaspberryBeret34 Thu 27-Mar-14 11:05:55

I recommend OD! I also have a (very nearly) 2 yo, I split from my ex when DS was 8m. I work as well so totally understand the goroundhog day of working, bedtime, packed lunch etc.

Around late last year I started feeling like I could dip my toe in the water with men and knew I wasn't going to meet any friends of friends etc although I did up my social life a bit at the same time, inviting friends round for a drink in the evenings etc. I went on the Guardian site first and then, as that was a bit too London based, tried POF. I just thought it would get me out of the house, that I'd do 1 date per week max and see how things went. I started seeing the 3rd guy I met, just after NY and it is going really well. I think if you are relaxed about it and see it as a bit of fun, an opportunity to get out and meet people (terrifying at first but, even just with my 3 men I met, it got easier) and practice dating and maybe meet someone great, then it is really positive. Good luck!

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