pulling on my heart strings

(9 Posts)
Minime85 Sun 23-Feb-14 20:11:17

feeling sad tonight. dds have seen more of their dad as its been half term. he is a shift worker so been able to see them when not at school. they have loved it and I'm pleased but youngest dd just said she wants to stay there more. that she wants to see me too. then said, why can't you make friends with daddy so we can live together again?

makes me so sad. he left. his choice. its me that has to have all these conversations with youngest in particular. breaks my heart they are going through this. and I can't fix it.

sorry just needed to share with others who might know where I'm coming from. sad

Alchemist Sun 23-Feb-14 20:21:07

Oh honey, I know what you mean. Still vv painful. Keep going pet, we will get on in the end and win! Soz, H has kids. I have gin and tonic. thanks

Also just found this topic. Big sigh.

MisForMumNotMaid Sun 23-Feb-14 20:28:33

Ouch! It hurts doesn't it.

I usually try to divert the conversation onto an all the things we'd love in the future kind of conversation. Wouldn't it be nice if we could get a helicopter from school and fly off to ....

I also think there comes a point where truth avoidance doesn't work and a simple Daddy decided he didn't want to be friends with Mummy - but we both very much love you is appropriate.

I'm remarried some years down the line with a DD as well as 2 x Ds from my first marriage and just occasionally I'm caught off guard. My DS's were 1and 3 at the time now 10 and just turned 8, with little sister 3.

Monetbyhimself Sun 23-Feb-14 20:48:31

I feel your pain sad

america Sun 23-Feb-14 21:07:59

So sorry to hear. I see this happening to us as well. Dc just spent their first ever weekend with their dad and came back telling how cool his lady friend (i wasn't even informed that he lives with someone) is - apparently she plays drums and took them swimming and to McDonalds. What can I say. It is tough being the strict one and not the fun to be with one. I really hope that I manage to stay at least a little bit fun mum in the future and don't turn into a nagging b***h.

Minime85 Mon 24-Feb-14 17:51:45

thanks ladies. I'm angry about it all tonight which is maybe easier. so cross he has made our dd's lives like this. that he has done this to me too. argh! currently stuffing my face with takeaway and have some chocolate waiting . smile

MisForMumNotMaid Mon 24-Feb-14 17:59:12

Love a good bar of chocolate.

I was thinking of you earlier and how tough it is when the wounds are still raw.

It really does get easier over time.

I'm not saying it doesn't hurt when they innocently say things, its just it doesn't cripple you in the same way.

Anger is something that you'll have to work through. How are your exciting future plans? Do you have a point in the future to build towards like a holiday, visiting wider family, a birthday etc?

Something to try and think about when you start to get sucked into a depressive thought cycle.

starlight1234 Mon 24-Feb-14 19:04:24

My DS's dad doesn't see him..It is a revolving door conversation...We have to revisit it regularly when he needs to...

I know the feeling...I would love to say because your Dad is a wanker but obviously I don't...I do get annoyed that is me making the explanations and doing it on my own as he has opted out..

I have no advise but know how you feel

Minime85 Tue 25-Feb-14 20:13:53

thanks. it is nice to know you aren't the only one sometimes.

yes some nice plans both on my own and with dds. different trips to theatre, evenings out with friends, week away with DPS, dsis and fam so very lucky to have that. I love having things on the calendar to look forward too.

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