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Exp is taking ds2 to his mum's tomorrow

10 replies

rickman · 02/05/2006 23:08

and I feel totally sick about the whole thing.

This is only the second time xp has had ds2 and I hate the thought of my little boy being passed around a load of strangers, like he's a dolly.

I want to cancel.

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fireflyfairy2 · 02/05/2006 23:12

I don't blame you. IIRC he is round the same age as my ds (17 months)
How long will he have him away for and are any of your other kids going to be there?

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rickman · 02/05/2006 23:20

He'll be collecting ds2 and dd2 about 2.30 and then collecting the others from school. He will have all 4 of them together and bring them back about 7 pm.

I probably wouldn't feel as bad if he hadn't said he had forgotten he was having ds2. It's only his 2nd visit, you'd think he'd remember.

I've text him tonight reminding him to get some nappies and when I didn't get a reply, I sent another asking if he had got my message, didn't get a reply to that either. Sent another saying i'm worried about tomorrow, please reassure me and he's ignored that as well. I don't know what to do now. :(

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misdee · 02/05/2006 23:23

i know you are worried, but try to relax and enjoy that 'me' time.

must be so hard tho. dont know if i could do it.

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rickman · 02/05/2006 23:29

I've got an appointment to get my hair done, I can't really afford it but it desperately needs doing.

I just hate the thought of them all pawing at my baby. His dad and one of his sisters have never seen him and they will all be there. They are having a tea party for ds1.

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mistressmiggins · 03/05/2006 08:42

am at work rickamn so cant chat for long

just wanted to try to reassure you
I expect hes playing games by ignoring your textS or annoyed that it looks like you dont trust him to look after DS2 properly

of course its horrible and so difficult to enjoy "me" time when you dont really want to be apart from your kids

at least your other kids will be there so they will look out for him wont they

big hugs and hope your hair looks fab !!

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PinkKerPlink · 03/05/2006 08:47

it would be patronising of me to say enjoy the time apart as you feel like your heart has been ripped out:( It is all very difficult for you rickman, but how you feel I imagine is very normal (if that helps) You just have to hold your head up high and keep reminding yourself what a good mother you are

enjoy having your hair done, but I must say it really doesnt look a mess like you have described

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sparklemagic · 03/05/2006 09:35

Agree that it's good your other kids will be there as they will look out for eachother.

I know it is the hardest thing, but do remember that by letting him go your are giving him what he needs, a relationship with his dad...and to your DS it probably won't feel like 'being pawed by strangers' but like a fun time with his other loving parent........

I know, I know - to say he'd 'forgotten' he was having your DS doesn't sound good - but I'm sure to your DS he will be still be his loving dad, iykwim - none of the other stuff matters to your DS at the moment!

Best of luck, enjoy your time at the hairdressers.

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rickman · 03/05/2006 09:57

Got a phone call at 7.30 this morning, saying things had changed and he might not be able to have the kids after all. I said I had an appointment at 3.15 so I couldn't pick them up and he said that his dad might be in hospital and he could be there all day. I told him that I needed to know so I could cancel my plans and he went off on one and put the phone down on me.

Half an hour later he rang back and said he would be picking the kids up as normal but he wouldn't be going to his mums.

I know I should be more charitable if his dad is ill, but honestly to go from "it's serious, i'm going to be at hospital all day" to "i'll pick them up as normal" in half an hour is just plain irritating.

Anyway, he is having them all at his house, so I can put off worrying about all the relatives pawing him for a bit longer.

Hopefully I will look marvellous after my haircut, but I doubt if it will be able to manage to make me look a stone lighter!

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mistressmiggins · 03/05/2006 10:09

Rickman - thats why you find it hard isnt it?
the inconsistancies. If he was 100% reliable and keen, you wouldnt have any worries

mine has just informed me hes off on holiday tom for 2 weeks and back on a Thurs but "Sunday would be more convenient than Sat when I get back"
oh thanks - you have 2 weeks sunning yourself and then Sunday is better FOR YOU - never mind the fact you wont have seen the kids for 3 weeks or that there are more things to do on a Sat

THis is why I get frustrated - ex-h always seems to put himself first.

I dont think your haircut will make you lighter but will definitely make people look at your face I too need to lose wEight - comforting eating on my part

maybe we can start a "my ex-is a tosser, I need to start caring about myself and I need to lose some weight" thread

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rickman · 03/05/2006 10:14

Oh god yes MM, I need a thread like that. I need to lose a stone, cut down on the wine and stop smoking.

Your ex sounds every bit as annoying as mine, mine has always put himself first and I don't think that will ever change. I'm sure the constant changing of arrangements is just to unsettle me and leave me guessing on what will happen next.