I haven't ranted about xp on here before partly because I'm afraid once I start I won't be able to stop, and also because I've been trying to keep things civilised, and that includes not bitching about him, to anyone.
I can't take any more though and have to let rip somewhere. Hopefully this will go like all my threads and disappear without trace anyway.
Since splitting up in march I have bent over backwards to keep things sweet for the children's sakes, and have really tried to be a friend to him, in spite of the fact that he comes and goes as it suits him, he's paying us the barest most pathetic minimum of support, has introduced the children to his various girlfriends without ever discussing it with me, and I have to endure his friends treating me like dirt.
Whenever he wants access I sort it, but there have been two occasions when I have asked him to have them (well in advance) to be met with a flat no. Bearing in mind that he's been living in the States and has seen very little of them, and I have obviously had no breaks at all, I don't think it's too much to ask - one was next weekend for the mn party, and the other was new year. I had actually just agreed that he could stay over for the whole of xmas if he wanted, and asked if he could have them for new year after that, but no chance! We've also recently had a row where he said that if he heard that my friends or family were saying that he was mean with the maintenance, he'd cut it even more, and now he's given up his job (and hidden all his savings offshore) I'd get nothing.
What's done for me tonight though is this: I'm having a little party the night before xmas eve, and dd asked him on the phone if he'd come. When he asked me about it on the phone, I said that I'd prefer he didn't (obviously!) He said "Fine, you want me to lie to them then" and slammed the phone down. WTF? IS it me?
When justifying his reasons for refusing to have them over new year, he said "I'm going to a party, I've moved on" in that "you moron" way - yet I can't?
Having read that back it sounds like I'm pathetically hoping he'll come back to us, I'm not I just want damage limitation for the children. He is the most self centred egotistical control freak I have ever encountered and if it weren't for them I would be delighted never to see them again.
I've had to change my mn name because he would honestly do something vicious in revenge if he ever saw this, but I am usually a colour.
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Apparently this is completely unreasonable.
15 replies
MrsPotatoHead · 20/11/2005 20:49
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