DH likes to drop a bombshell every now and then....do I want to move to Memphis for a couple of years?!

[CantSleepWontSleep]

He says that Memphis isn't a terribly safe place , so we'd live a bit outside it.

I've never lived anywhere outside the UK. Last year MNers persuaded me that it would be good to move to Toronto for 6 months, but nothing came of it in the end.

DD is now almost 21 months, so we'd possibly be away until she is 4. We are also ttc, so we'd potentially have a second dc whilst out there.

Does anyone have any advice, either generally, or about this area specifically. I know absolutely nothing about Memphis (well, except Elvis, obv!).

I do feel very settled where we are now. We've lived here for 6.5yrs, and I have a big group of 'baby friends'. I think my biggest concern about going would be dd and I missing out on the busy social life that we have now, and going somewhere where we know no-one.

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

Crikey! That's a change!

If I lived where you do now - I'd never move away!!!!!

Nothing constructive to add I'm afraid.

[policywonk]

Blimey.

No help whatsoever I'm afraid. I moved from Sussex to Surrey recently, that was bad enough.

I keep thinking of 'Mississippi Burning', but that's really no help at all is it. I will shut up now.

[BeetrootMNRoyalty]

wonderful toh ave the opportunity to experience another country

[CantSleepWontSleep]

But why Beety?

And, err, thanks for your help QV and PW .

[Boogalooblue]

Well if it helps on the moving front

We moved within the uk to an area where we knew no one when dd1 was 16 months and I was 6 months pg with dd2.

We also moved when dd3 was 9 months old (again within uk)

Both of our moves have been to places where we knew no one and relatively little about the areas.

Children are a wonderful ice-breaker and it didn't/hasn't taken long to make new friends.

If I were you then I would grasp the opportunity with both hands, only live once etc..

Memphis though, I am afraid you seem to know as much as I do about the place.

Good Luck in making a decision

[OverRated]

You should come and talk to us on the "All those in the US" thread. I know nothing about Memphis but I bet some of the other expats do.

FWIW, I'm in the midwest and have a very busy daytime social life with DS and his activities. You could look at meetup.com, google Mom's clubs or other baby/ toddler groups in Memphis. I can ask my local group if any of them know anything about it if that would help.

[BeetrootMNRoyalty]

Why not? If you have the opportunity to see and live in another part of the world why the hell would you trun it down? There can be nothing better than widening your experiences.

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

OH yes, definitely do it....

Oh, can I have your house please, since you are going????

[Boogalooblue]

VVV, not the wendy house, I want that one

Plllllleeeeeeaaaaase CSWS, my 4 would love it

[CantSleepWontSleep]

lol

Even if I decide I'm happy to go, we need to know quite a bit more about the package that dh would be offered, as it would probably entail him becoming an employee of the company that he has been contracting for for years. He's in Brazil at the moment (and Peru last week!), and mentioned this possibility totally out of the blue on the phone tonight. As is typical of men, though, he only knows half the story so far!

Thanks for that link OverRated - will pop over there shortly.

[kinderBOOsurprise]

I have moved a few times since we had the DCs, always within Germany but completely different areas.

I agree that it is easy to meet people when you have young children. We are really integrated here after living here for just over 2 years. My DD is even learning some Plattdeutsch, the local dialect.

It is however not easy to transplant your family to a different county. My main problems are childcare/someone to lend a helping hand when either I or a DC is ill. I really envy some of my friends here who just call on Granny when they need a babysitter for a few hours. It made a big difference to our life when my parents retired and they could come and visit more often.

Another thing to consider is the fact that you are separating your DCs from their family, difficult for the children and difficult for the grandparents. I do not know how your relationship is with parents but I do sometimes feel a bit guilty about that.

Huge advantage for you is of course that there is no language barrier in America. I think that it is great for children to live in a different country and experience a different culture.

We are considering our next move at the moment, possibly UK, Switzerland or still Germany. At the end of the day, DH's career is one that does demand some sacrifices and I have itchy feet anyway so am glad of a change every so often.

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

No, not just the wendy house - the whole damned place

[naturopath]

Are you sure you're not married to my DH! lol
Hasn't suggested Memphis but somewhere just as random in the States. For no reason at all other than, "we're young.. what better time to do it!" despite no job there or anything.

[naturopath]

My DH thinks exactly like BeetrootMNRoyalty - not a bad thing, I might add, just a little out of the blue sometimes

[CantSleepWontSleep]

lol naturopath - at least my dh does have a 'proper' reason!

[MeMySonAndI]

Erm, best friend was transfered by her company to Memphis. She hated the idea and it seems to me that she is hating her job too. She thinks that is something that she needs to endure for a couple of years to move to a better place. She spends the weeks working late and then she goes for a walk to the shopping malls during the weekends. So not much to do, I supose, as she is usually quite adventurous.

Another bad point, she says, is that it is not very well communicated, in terms of flights in and out of it costing a fortune as it is not near of any major airport (like the headquarters of an airline, which means you can travel a lot at a reasonable price)

[CantSleepWontSleep]

Does she have anything good to say about it MMSAI?

[CantSleepWontSleep]

And does she have children?

[MeMySonAndI]

She has no children. POsitive things... yes, she is loving her new flat and her new car. Just that.

TBH I believe the main issue is the inability to travel more often, she is a bit of a travel fanatic and I think that not having anything worthy of visiting near enough in terms of distance or expense, is making her feel a bit trapped.

She says that the style of working is also very different, that even little changes are met with a lot of resistance, which is an opinion shared by plenty of managers in different areas, according to what she tells me.

[jabberwocky]

I have lived in Memphis two different times and would move back tomorrow

The first time was in the mid-80's for 4 years while in school. It was great but I was too poor to do a lot of the things I would have liked to do. The second time was only for a year when I was separated from my now ex-h. That was in the early 90's. Had more money, enjoyed it even more. Now I go back at least once or twice a year for work and have a blast.

Let's see, first, where to live. Downtown and mid-town are fun areas, not sure about the safety factor. I think as with anything it goes along with not doing silly things like walking alone at night in dodgy places. The farther east you go it is generally considered to be safer, also can get more expensive. I lived in mid-town at first, ex-h wanted to move east so we went to Cordova. I hated the commute (although Cordove/Germantown is a lovely area) so we compromised and moved to Bartlett. There are museums, gardens, great restaurants, wonderful places for music, a terrific zoo and things like Memphis in May. You can get fabulous barbecue, wet or dry and you can also go to art galleries and funky shops in Main Street. You can also see wonderful Broadway shows at the beautiful old, fully restored Orpheum Theatre.

It sounds like schools really won't be an issue for you but if you do a pre-school it will most definitely have to be private. The public schools there unfortunately have much to be desired.

We currently live in Middle TN and it seems so much more shallow and one-dimensional to me. Memphis is diverse and multi-cultural. I think it would be a fabulous experience and I can't imagine living there and spending most of my time at the mall

Please feel free to CAT me if you have any specific questions. I will try to keep an eye on this thread as well.

[jabberwocky]

Oh, just noticed the bit about the airport. I have not flown out of there lately, so things may have changed but it was a NW hub when I was there and I had no trouble with flights. Of course, flying anywhere in the US is a major pain these days.

[ScaryScienceT]

I think you would enjoy it if you got the full expat package. If the company are stingy however, I would be very reluctant to go.

If you were gone only two years, and moved back into your old house here, I'm sure you'll slot back into your social circles. I did after four years away.

It can take a while to get settled overseas, and it will never be like your friendships here. But people do try to be friendly and helpful, and with enough disposable income, you can buy your way into friendships, eg by joining the gym, doing classes etc.

[CantSleepWontSleep]

Thanks ladies. Great to have someone who knows Memphis giving it a glowing reference .
Germantown is the area that dh mentioned we could live in, so even better that you say that's nice.

MMSAI - dh would be senior management in an area that is precisely about change (he's an IT consultant), but he's quite used to working with people who are resistant to it.

SST - there is no way at all that we will consider it if we would be worse off, and as dh makes a tidy packet at the moment, they will have to offer a generous package if they want him in the role!

Jabberwocky - I will wait until we know whether the package is attractive or not, and then CAT you if it is, if that is alright.

[jabberwocky]

Absoutely! And I can look up some old friends to help you out once you get there. If you do wind up going, that is.