Leaving Middle East to go back to Ireland?

[hamd2010]

Hi, I want to move back to Ireland after being in the Middle east for 10 years. I'm keen for my DC to have a normal life. He things the materialism and wealth here is normal. He loves the outdoors and for 7 months here its too hot. I prefer the curriculum at home too. The British Curriculum here is not for us. Thing is, my DH will have to stay for 1 year more without us. We will visit and he will too but I know we will all miss each other terrible. I'm determined though. My DC wants to do home and so do I. My husband is ok about it but would prefer to stay here for the money. We have one life and cant be a slave to the wage I feel. Question is, how has anyone else managed splitting up the family in effect like this? I think its doable if only for the year. Any opinions ?

[hamd2010]

Thank you. Yes, I think we could cope with it for a year. Have my heart set on it for a while now. DS will be 13 by time we return and ready for 1st year.

[elelfrance]

If your kids were really small, babies or preschollers, I'd say it would be very hard to 1) manage without DH's help and 2) explain it to the kids, and have them understand. But I think your DS is old enough to understand why you're doing it, the timescale of a year and everything. I'd go for it (but my view isn't very unbiased as i also want to move home to ireland from abroad next year :-) )

[hamd2010]

Anyone done it and regretted it? That's my other fear!

[NicholasName]

If it's only a year then yes it's very doable

[DesertorDessert]

Were in the middle of going the other way.
DH has a new job in the ME. I'm still in the UK with the 6 and 4 yr olds. June and July while I was working ft was HARD. Summer hold were hard, in a fun way. Now they are both at school I'm sorting out all the stuff to move out there. Will probably be 6 months we are apart. Been OK.

I also know a family where he worked in UAE when the I DS were small, and everyone was out there. Working in UK, coming back when kids hit teanage years. He is now back in the Middle East, coming back once a month. Wife and kids in UK.

Would you get a school place for DS? Would the place you chose to live be where DH would get a job when he returns? ie might you have to move DS twice when you know where DH will be based?

[hamd2010]

Getting a school place is not a problem. Education and the school system in Ireland is different to the Uk (thankfully!). Ireland is starting to pick up so getting a position for my husband in his field wouldn't be too difficult. The only 'problem' with our plan is being separated for the year but I feel more confident reading other threads that it is doable. Thanks for the replies :)

[elelfrance]

hamd2010, would you be moving close to family back home ? IMO that would help "cushion the blow" of DH not being there for the first year

[hamd2010]

Hi elefrance, we would be near enough. I have some friends in the area too so that will help I'm sure. Ironically, I wasn't half as nervous about moving away....I'm doing way more research this time. I'm older and hopefully wiser this time !

[Wearyheadedlady]

hamd2010 I just wanted to say good luck and I would move to Ireland on the turn of a leaf. I understand the education system is brilliant compared to many and culturally you've got it all going on. I am from the UK and live in the US and I'd stuff both to go to Ireland.

On the practical side I would say if you can arrange specific times to talk to your DH each day that will help, so you're not catching each other on the hop as it were, or mistaking one person's being busy for being disinterested or any of that crap. You have to give each other a lot of rope with long distance.

My Dh travels far and for a few weeks. We are sad when he goes and happy when he comes back and we take what we can while he is away, which with time differences, can be challenging. FaceTime helps and Skype, obviously.

[hamd2010]

Thanks for the tips weary :)

[desertmum]

we live like this - and I agree re it being easier with older DC - mine are now late teens and so are able to talk/email/skype with their dad when they want with no input from me.
DH and I skype just about every day and we email as well during the day - often fairly boring stuff, but it keeps us connected. The first year was really hard, but it gets easier. We see each other every 6-8 weeks. It helps that we know others in this situation and I have friends whose DHs are in the forces so they are apart fro their partners for longer than me which puts it in perspective a bit more.

[hamd2010]

Thanks desertmum :)