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Supporting friend

(4 Posts)
Whattodowithaminute Sun 27-Nov-16 19:27:57

Lovely friends DH has been diagnosed with secondaries, all suddenly seeming more real to everyone. Want to be able to provide support as much as possible, any tips? What things have you really appreciated or not appreciated? I live reasonably locally but wouldn't manage to do school pickups (they will clash with ours) can cook, clean, shop, have daughter at weekends, be around for coffee chat and hugs and hospital visits if required... I feel I have a glimmer of what they are going through but not enough.

FuzzyCustard Sun 27-Nov-16 19:43:56

Hello. Do check in with how she is feeling, not just her DH. And let her talk about whatever she wants to talk about. If she's spending days at hospital then dinners she can microwave when she gets in are always welcome.
Mostly, keep letting her know you are thinking of her. I've been disappointed by friends who have said a quick "how are you, so sorry" at the beginning of the process and then not contacted me again!

Whattodowithaminute Mon 28-Nov-16 09:24:12

Thanks fuzzy I keep checking in with her, more than I do with her DH to be honest. Any resources anyone has found particularly helpful which might be worth a read for at of us? Next treatment phase looks like chemotherapy or immunotherapy.

FuzzyCustard Mon 28-Nov-16 20:44:05

Macmillan are the best for resources that I've found. And they do have stuff for friends supporting people with cancer ( I know that's still one step removed) but might be helpful. They're also pretty good with specific information on conditions and treatments and drugs, which might make it easier to talk to your friend. I find clued up people easier to talk to as I don't have to explain terms or implications!

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