German mum, English dad, no maintenance, threats with court

[skihorse]

I hope somebody can help shed some light on this.

I have a dear German friend who moved to the Manchester area ~10 years ago. She married a local man and they had a son who is now 8.

He beat her and hurt her and somehow she got him to move out and he ran back to his mum. Needless to say he stopped paying the bills and she was unable to manage, the bank foreclosed on the house - but thankfully because the market was booming she didn't end up owing any money.

She left Manchester when her son was 3 - she had nothing to stay in the UK for and whilst he was agreeing to the divorce he was still threatening to physically hurt her.

She now lives in Belgium with her new husband and she flies to the UK with her son for school holidays, drops him off at Manchester and flies straight home. He has never once flown to Belgium or paid for a flight.

He is now suing her in a UK court demanding more access to his son and money(!), however he has never paid a single bean towards maintenance.

She is very upset by this, especially as she has to report to a Belgian police station to discover what the "charges" are. She is resigned to going to court and at this stage says she just doesn't care because she has nothing to lose.

Doe she have any rights to claim maintenance - she knows obviously she'll never see a penny of it - but perhaps it'll give her a stick to beat him with. She's a bit too "nice" and probably never envisaged she had any rights.

[GypsyMoth]

if he has him in holidays then there is little more acess to be had. she could offer webcam/skype/email

does the dad now want full custody?

[skihorse]

There is no way he "wants" him full-time, as it is the grandmother does the looking after when the boy is back in the UK... he doesn't even like spending such a long time with his dad as he is currently obliged to.

I think he's just trying to hurt my friend and perhaps frighten her in to giving him money. He's on the dole and probably finding things tight right now!

[iva555]

Interesting, how was she allowed to leave the UK with the child? I just posted a thread on the same topic and is interesting that she went to live in Belgium when the dad is British. So it is possible then? I am in a similar situation.

[skihorse]

Iva I'm not sure, I'll ask her asap. I seem to recall though that she managed it with him travelling on his German ID because his dad wouldn't co-sign for a UK passport - does that sound feasible?

[skihorse]

Quick update: It seems that it's actually OK, he's just arguing about wanting specific dates for the boy to be in the UK. Seems a bit daft to me given that school holidays etc. are not carved in stone.

Iva - I asked her about your predicament as this is what she said:

"Leaving the country with your child or children is very difficult. The lady needs either the father?s consent or a judgement in the UK enabling her to leave with her children. This can be a long and expensive procedure and she might not get the permission at all. After having spent ages in the internet recently in order to get an update on the current situation I would do the following NOW if I was still in the UK with DS: take him and just leave secretly ? not informing the father at all - and do everything to build up a new life ? put DS into school education immediately and work myself. After ONE year the child or children have grown into their new environment and will not be sent back to the UK again. I would not tell my ex my new address otherwise he can start procedures against me and have the children returned. We?ve left 5 ½ years ago so there is no way that DS is being sent back now. I would have to be an alcoholic or drug addict in order to risk this. "

[skihorse]

iva My friend has said she's happy to talk to you because she knows what you're going through. You can reach me on [email protected] and I will give you her email addy.