Will my baby be taken away from me?

[anon321]

Hello, I'm new here, I really hope this is the correct place to post, if not I'd be grateful for some directions to the correct place!

I'll try to keep this as short as possible. My husband was a heroin addict for several years - he started taking drugs as a teen after a member of his family was killed and he struggled to cope. He got clean a few times and had relapses, but has now been clean for four years - including around two or three on methadone. He's now off the methadone but still regularly goes to counselling and narcotics anonymous.

I'm sure many of you will recoil in horror at the mere mention of heroin, had I not met my husband there's a good chance I'd have been the same, but my husband is a good, loving person, and he's tried so hard to put his past behind him.

Getting to the point, I'm pregnant with our first baby, and we're both thrilled. Yesterday however, I bumped into someone who knew about my husband's past and she basically told me that I should expect my baby to be taken into care and that social services will be 'all over me like a rash'. For me, the heroin issue was put to bed a long time ago, and I was so thrilled at becoming a mum, I had not even considered this. Is there any truth in what she says? My husband is not the sort of person to harm his own child, but I have not been able to get her comments out of my mind and am worried sick now.
It might be worth mentioning that I myself have never taken drugs of any kind (I've never even smoked a cigarette).

Any advice would be much appreciated or even a nudge in the right direction? I'm struggling to find any information online.

[purepurple]

I doubt it very much (discalimer, i have no qualifications in legal matters)
Do you have contact with social services now?
If your baby was at risk, then you would be being monitored now. You would be assinged a social worker and you would be supported in keeping your baby.
SS simply do not march in and take away babies unless the baby is at immediate serious life-threatening danger.
Can you get your husband to get some advice from his counsellor?

[MitchyInge]

congratulations to you both

hope you get some helpful advice here

[bigstripeytiger]

Form what you have written it doesnt sound like the type of situation where a child would be removed.
Do you have an social services involvement?

[paisleyleaf]

That sounds a mean thing for her to say.
Congratulations, and well done to your DH for getting clean.
What purepurple said about getting advice from his counsellor is a good idea.

[TotalChaos]

no massive knowledge, but would have thought that even if SS did become involved at any point, they would be impressed by the strong effort your DH has made to get off heroin and that he has a good support network to help avoid relapse. you could always call the NSPCC helpline or parentline (without giving your name) to get some advice/reassurance.

oh and congratulations!

[anon321]

Hello,
Thank you for your quick replies
We don't have contact with social services, and it did occur to me that my doctor who is well aware of my husband's past had not mentioned social services or similar when I became pregnant.

I have not mentioned the conversation I had to my husband yet - I wanted to find out if there was any element of truth to it first before worrying him. Although in fairness I'm the worrier out of the two of us! It's a good idea to ask his counsellor though, I didn't think of that, but I'd expect she might be able to help, so thanks for that.

I think the rational voice in my head says that there is no good reason that our child would be taken, but the irrational pregnant woman voice is panicking about anything and everything

[LynetteScavo]

What a horrible thing for this aquaintance to say!

From what you've psoted I don't think there is any reason for your baby to be taken away from you. Obviously if your husband was to start taking heroin again there would be reason for concern, but if he we to leave the family house, any danger would be removed, and so your child would be safe with you, and would remain with you.

Obviously this is theoretical (sp?).

Have you had any involvement in Ss in the past?

[MitchyInge]

there might be a tiny element of truth in that substance abuse is a red flag, but surely not in the same way as convictions for child abuse

my sister works in this area, I'll try to steer her towards your thread - hopefully she can reassure you

[anon321]

Thanks Mitchy that's very kind of you.
And yes, it was a horrible thing for her to say (especially considering I hardly know the woman!) but I suppose some people just can't bear to see others do well.

[NanaNina]

Anon 321 - I am an independent social worker and have been a social worker for over 30 years. I can assure you that there would be absolutely no reason for SS to be concerned about your forthcoming baby. Before a child can be removed from parents, the SSD have to proove to a court that the child is at "risk of significant harm or is likely to be at risk of significant harm." From what you say there is absolutely no reason for SSD to become involved with your family. Whoever told you that is talking nonsense, so forget it and enjoy your pregnancy - and the baby too!

[floatyjosmum]

i would say dont worry, im a social worker and lots of different things could or could not happen!

if concerns are raised then they should be sorted out before the baby is born and if you have no issues then personally i would say that you would be fine.
if there are issues relating to the heroin use which from your post im thinking is in the past i wouldnt expect it to get to CP or removal at all.

There are lots of parents out there with drug problems who are still very good parents and keep their children so i really wouldnt panic at all.
xx

[meonlybetter]

i'm a child protection lawyer and would be very suprised if anything happened. if there were concerns a social worker would come out to check on how you were both doing before the baby even born. from there they would need to decide whether baby needs to be subject to child protection plan and even if thye thought it should this could simply be support and monitoring - very doubtful, from what you have posted that thye would consider removal. i think its much more likely that you wont hear anything as your other half has a historical problem only. Dont worry and enjoy your pregnancy and the baby!

[karenh1]

hi i am new i had 4 children two were adopted and one is in care my youngest 1 is nearly three he was taken at birth then returned to me at ten months old he has been with me two years now and social services are no longer involved i am pregnant and want to know if they will become involved again

[LynetteScavo]

Hi, karenah1.

When you've have two children adopted, and one in care, I would imagine Social Services may want to see if you can cope with more than one child.

Have you considered having your child in care come back to live with you?