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Help needed....

10 replies

wannabestressfree · 22/01/2016 06:28

I will try and keep this short and sweet but I need some advice....
Have a quite dependent toxic relationship with my mother (abusive parents divorced after 30 years) and they sold marital home. Father got some but mum the bulk- both didn't really work much. I paid mortgage several times and other bills to help..

When house was sold each sibling got some money (nominal) but due to the things I had done and help given including moving her lock stock she offered to pay some money toward our extension. We said no (a lot) but she wanted to help. I insisted on writing on paper that when I had some money I would give it back (two lines on scrap paper)
I never saw the money it was paid into my partners account who gave it to the builder.
Less than three weeks later whilst on a cruise she 'fell out' with me and began sending letters to the house and where we both work demanding her money.
We have no issue with the fact we owe it. I am not trying to Say we don't but yesterday I came home from work and there were county court papers on the mat. My partner has the same.
I am uncertain how to proceed.
Do I a. Just not contest and offer some money monthly.... I have been paying it Back weekly something she failed to tell anyone. I also have proof. What happens if she refuses what I offer?
B. Contest it as I haven't done anything and offer money monthly. She wants her day in court my brother told me. But to what ends? I live in a rented house with children and my partner is mortgaged up to the hilt.
We would just get a loan but we used all avaiable funds for building....

I just need some advice. Solicitor wants £2oo to even look at paperwork and it needs to go back. I just don't know what to do....

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wannabestressfree · 22/01/2016 06:52

Early morning bump :)

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MummyBex1985 · 22/01/2016 14:14

Does she have any paperwork to demonstrate that it was a loan, rather than a gift?

If not, I'd be tempted to contest it - how would she prove it was a loan? And even if it was - there are no terms attached to it which means it may not be an enforceable agreement anyway...

I wouldn't be paying her back - she sounds vile. And it sounds like it was an intended gift anyway which she has now changed her mind about.

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wannabestressfree · 22/01/2016 15:30

I basically wrote 'when I have some money I will pay some back' as at the time she was insistent she didn't want it all back. No time on it or anything else..... My partner wasn't even there. The first he knew about it was when she put the money in his account and rang him to say what she had done.... He wasn't overally happy as didn't trust her (rightly so)
The thing that breaks my heart is all the stuff we have done for her eg took her on holiday, paid her mortgage,retiled her bathroom. Never asked for anything back as its family.... Its what you do.
She is expert at playing people off against each other. She does it with all of us (sibs) as a result no one is Talking....

Thanks for replying

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mumblechum1 · 22/01/2016 21:19

As there is no loan agreement as such, I recommend that initially you file a defence within the time set out on the summons.

If the claim is for under £5k, it will be dealt with in the small claims court which means that she can't claim any solicitors' costs, although if you lose, you'll have to pay the court fees.

Then when it goes to court, the district judge may make a ruling there and then, or may adjourn for further evidence.

If your defence is unsuccessful, or you're ordered to pay part back. You'll need to set out a schedule of outgoing so so that a payment plan can be agreed. You'll then have a CCJ, unfortunately.

Personally I think it's worth defending if under £5k. If more than that, re post as the advice may be different.

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wannabestressfree · 22/01/2016 22:14

Its more Than that unfortunately think double. I am happy to admit I owe it as I do and submit my outgoings. I don't have a lot 'Free' and thats apparent. I am going to offer to pay what I have been paying.. what a mess. What happens If she refuses the offer?

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AnthonyBlanche · 22/01/2016 23:31

If the money went into your partners account and the house belongs to your partner (I assume this is cthe case as you say you live in rented house) and if there is no loan agreement I would definitely contest the claim. Your defence is that the money was a gift and not given to you but to your partner. He should contest the claim on the basis that it was a gift.

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FreckledLeopard · 23/01/2016 00:16

If you make a reasonable offer to pay it back according to what you can afford then a court will likely accept this.

Have you acknowledged service? This will extend the period for filing the defence if you do choose to defend the claim.

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wannabestressfree · 23/01/2016 06:45

We are doing all that today....
I am going to accept and make an offer.
He is going to acknowledge service today.

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wowfudge · 23/01/2016 12:53

The small claims limit is £10000, not £5000. It was changed a few years ago. I'd supply copy bank statements showing the payments made.

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wannabestressfree · 24/01/2016 16:32

Its above the small claims limit... It just days county court on it.
I have submitted the paperwork to her solicitor and showing what I have coming in and out. I take it this will be shared with her? I imagine she will then share it with all and sundry (fantastic)