staying in house after split with DC, best option re mortgage?

[soontobesolo]

Hi
Not sure whether this belongs in legal, money or even relationships? Basically, I am wondering if anyone else has been in the same situation as me and can advise on what is the best/fairest option. STBX is moving out shortly and leaving me and DC living in the house, hopefully until DC2 is 18. I can afford to pay the mortgage which is approx £1K per month and he will be renting a much smaller flat for a similar amount. The DC will be here pretty much full time, DC1 says he won't go to XP's flat at all and he is mid-teens so presumably no one would enforce contact so in that sense it's not unfair I have more space for the same cost.

We are not married and own 50% each as tenants in common, my question is would there be any point in taking the mortgage into my name entirely if the lender would let me? I can't buy XP out entirely as we have about 80% equity in the house due to crazy London prices. But obviously I will be paying the mortgage entirely myself and making any structural repairs etc to the house so if I took his name off the mortgage would it be fair to suggest changing the title deeds so I owned a higher share of the property? XP has debt problems so wouldn't be looking to buy but might be wanting to be freed of any responsibility for paying the mortgage since he won't be living here.

The other question is, the mortgage will be paid off shortly after DC2 is 18 so looking ahead what would be the fair thing to do then if I had no housing costs and he obviously still had rent to pay? I've heard people say that the person living in the house should pay occupational rent to the one who has left but that seems to go along with them paying half the mortgage after they leave so not sure if it applies in our case?

[SolidGoldBrass]

You would be best off consulting a solicitor or Citizen's Advice. IsSTBX being reasonable, generally or is he a bellend?

[soontobesolo]

He is being reasonable in that he isn't contesting us staying in the house until the DC are grown up and has agreed to pay CSA amount plus half of extracurricular activities and school uniforms etc which is a contrast to many XP I have heard of (although maybe I shouldn't count my chickens)

However he is being a bellend in that he is re-writing history and saying the OW isn't relevant because he was going to leave anyhow as he was unhappy so no need to tell the DC. But DC2 then said that maybe XP could be convinced to return when he felt happier so I had to bring the OW into the picture otherwise I would be seen as the baddie preventing him from returning. DC2 was fine with the truth anyhow, I think it is best to be honest and not give false hopes. I think XP wants to be the victim in the story and paint me as the villain who made his life so unhappy he couldn't stay when really he decided to detach himself from the relationship.

So really we can stay as we are now with me paying the mortgage alone but his name being on it and we could agree that he would pay half of expensive structural repairs or that that gets taken into account when we sell and split the equity, I just want ideas of what others have done so that I can be prepared before seeing a solicitor. But I guess there is no hurry because I think the bank would want proof I could afford the payments on my own so would need to see that XP will make the child support payments as part of that so we need a bit of time in the new situation first.