Taking ds on holiday...

[honey86]

Long story short... I split with my controlling ex during pregnancy, and he didn't attend the birth or birth registration (he had already got with someone else ).

since then he has had contact a few times. It went pear shaped a few times where i had to stop contact. (He was playing alot of i love you/i love you not/everythings your fault/youre nuts mind games and i couldnt cope with seeing him) contact started again because he pleaded he had no money for a contact centre (even though he went on holiday to magaluf), and i felt i had to for my son's sake. Last contact was 2 weeks ago he hasnt requested contact again yet.

Ive booked a holiday abroad for a week, as i feel i need it- my older sons are autistic, ive had two close family members die and im having tests done for cervical cancer as i have high grade dysplasia. Im exhausted. But i know that when i tell ds's dad, he will go ballistic and i will get a barrage of abuse and allegations from him, hes likely to attempt to sabotage my holiday somehow.

Where do i stand legally? He doesnt have PR as he didnt attend the reg office and therefore not on the bc. But is there anything he could do such as prohibited steps order etc or anything to prevent me getting a passport for ds or something? May sound paranoid but he really does go batshit crazy over things like this and dont care how low he sinks to get his way.

I just need to know what to expect as he does have the right to know where his ds is. He would find out anyway.

[nomoretether]

My understanding is that he would not be able to prevent travel without PR and even if he did have PR, it is highly unlikely the courts would make an order to prevent a normal family holiday.

[Solasum]

Assuming you are not expecting him to pay, he might be glad of the break from needing to make excuses!

Don't tell him you are getting a passport. Again, if you are paying it is nothing to do with him.

I think it is polite to tell him you are taking yiur child overseas though, but don't give him space to argue. Present it as a done deal, and great thing for the baby. So 'We are going to X on the 5th. It will be great for DS to get some fresh air' or similar. It sounds like you definitely deserve a holiday. Don't let your ec ruin it.

[honey86]

Oh no hes not paying for anything, its just a control thing with him. In his view, he made 50% of that baby therefore he has 50% control, and he should be able to stop me from doing something with our son that he isnt in agreement with. He got insanely jealous and angry when i went on holiday when i was pregnant, and tried to get childrens services to take my kids using false allegations, to try and sabotage my plans.

In fact he hasnt even paid for any nappies pays no maintenance (he dont want us mothers spending his money) so i wouldnt even bother asking for anything else lol x

[prh47bridge]

Not having PR does not prevent him applying for a prohibited steps order but even if he did he is unlikely to succeed in preventing a genuine holiday.