how to attempt to recoup joint assets when one partner has spent them

[runningmad]

Hi there, in the middle of husband having abandoned me and 4 kids. Complicated in that he has gone to the UK and I'm not there.

We have in assets :
1 ISA in my name
2 ISA in his name
3 2 endowments with me as lead name on one and him on the other, to mature in 2019, in 5 1/2 years time.

The ISAs were started as TESSAs and before than were a life insurance policy my father had set up on my birth and which matured on my 18th birthday, then it went into a Post Office Savings account through university, then into a joint current account briefly then place in 2 TESSA accounts which became the current ISA accounts. So there is a trial of evidence from my life insurance policy as a child almost a century ago, through to the current ISAs. The ISAs have been filled almost every year to the maximum, all from the joint current account.

Now my husband has gone through a complete mid-life crisis and after this money having an almost 50 year history and never a single withdrawal, other than to change from TESSA directly into an ISA and changing bank from ISA with one bank to ISA with another bank. He has spent about half of the ISA in his name. It's the equivalent of 1/4 of our life savings, he has done it in 4 months. How do I go about putting a stop on this as Nationwide don't want to help me and how can I possibly attempt to recoup this money? Or do I cry and cry for the next few years watching half life savings and half my children's university funds being spent at Superdry and at Amazon marketplace. I would make you all vomit if I told you the exact purchases, it is very very sad for my kids, there is a woman who appears to be spending it for him, as he really doesn't fit into her clothes. To say I am livid is getting nowhere near my emotions. I wish I could name and shame the 2 of them here but mumsnet will not allow me too.

Please if anyone has a good legal mind, I'd appreciate some tips.

Thanks

[VegasIsBest]

Sorry to hear about this situation.

Whose name are the savings accounts in?

[runningmad]

ISA in my name, ISA in his name, endowments in both names. I have contacted Standard Life who have assured me he cannot touch them at all until January 2019, even if he tries, without me being contacted first and agreeing for them to be cashed in early. He cannot touch the ISA in my name without committing direct fraud, though I think he'd actually try.

We are married, the lawyer says all assets are joint in effect, irrelevant the name on them, given the fact I've given up a lucrative career to raise the kids and have worked full time and he didn't, given the longevity of the marriage, he can hope to get 20% of everything. I simply want to stop him spending his 20% NOW as the intention was never to spend any of this money on myself or him, we had allocated the total of the ISAs and most of the endowments on the children as university funds and had made a pact never to touch them until they started university, during which we'd release the money.

Does anyone have any idea in fact how it might be better now to protect that ISA money even in my name, so that it only ever can be used by the kids and not me or him? Can I set up some kind of trust to put the ISA money in to? I'd like this money to be removed from any percentage settlement and allocated to the children 1/4 each to the amounts we'd agreed many years ago. We were over target for this purpose, until he went and spent 15 minimum. He is refusing in fact to reveal the exact amount, claiming it's none of my business, despite being warned in fact the law sees things in a different way.

Oh how I want to name him and this woman. It is so shameful what some people do to others. I imagine we're all knocked out by some terrible tragedy, the pain of thinking about it is so great. Almost a century of effort gone in someone's fetishes over a 4 month period. How can this woman and my husband do this to 4 innocent children? His children who he abandoned physically and emotionally and monetarily - gosh the effort to get him to give us some family money has been monumental, he claims he has no money to give us, whilst at the same time spending £800 a week. I worked out he'd spent 25 times more money on himself and woman that he'd spent on each child. He gave them £45 each this month. High ranking civil servant. Your civil service is safe with him in charge. Actually his department has consistently been damned in public inspection reports as "not fit for purpose", spot on but no-one in government has the guts to sack every single senior manager and start again with civil servants with a bit of morals between them. Sad situation, for my kids, and for the country as a whole. Power goes to ones head sometimes.

[runningmad]

LOL I wrote a century ago, no I meant half a century, I'm not the oldest mumsnetter!

[RedHelenB]

Sorry but i don't see how you can as the money is not in the childrens names. My ex spent one endowment policy that was meant to be for out kids future. All you can do is to crack on with the divorce& get the financials sorted. I'd be very surprised too, if he was only awarded 20% of assets - how old are the children?

[RedHelenB]

Oh & get onto the CSA NOW as he will have to pay 25% net of his pay in child support. And as a civil servant it will be easy to get an attachment of earnings if he doesn't pay up!

[runningmad]

cannot use CSA as not in UK, so very very complicated. He's liable till they are 24 here and that's another 16 years. It's 40% here of net salary for the number we have. BUT and a big but, still searching for someone with the actual experience of handling this.

[caroldecker]

The ISA in his name he can spend as he likes and you cannot touch - if you are divorcing it may be considered as part of the assets to be shared, so he is spending 'his share'. The endowments and your ISA are fine and would be considered as part of the joint assets in the divorce settlement.

[RedHelenB]

Even so, ypou wpild be able to get a reciprocal agreement up & running once you've got a court order re. maintenance.