Ive posted here a couple of times before, under different names, and had some very good advice so I'm sorry to trouble you again but hope someone can help.
I have an ongoing contact case with my ex for our 2DC aged 13 and 14. I left their father due to his abuse and drug use almost 10 years ago. Since then he has seen the children on average once a year, through his choice. A year ago he applied to the court for PR and contact. The PR has been offered, accepted and ordered. The contact is proving trickier. It is currently set at day time contact over a weekend, three times a year so 6 days in total, as my ex lives a long way away.
The DC are generally reluctant to attend contact, but accept that a relationship cannot be formed without it so will go. Both have said that they would prefer at least one of the contacts to be just them and their father, to give a relationship a good shot. I agree that its a good idea, in so far as the one on one time cant possibly hurt the chances of forming a relationship and the DC would be more likely to interact directly with their father, rather than with each other and him observing which is what tends to happen now. They've suggested it to their father, who has refused. The DC feel as if their views haven't been considered at all in the process so far, so I am keen to give them a voice and put forward their requests to the court where possible, but I don't want to get their hopes up if the judge is likely to say no, so wanted to get an idea of if this would be a definite no, a maybe or a definite yes.
So, current contact is 6 occasions of 6 hour daytime contact a year, over 3 weekends, with both DC and their father. The DC's proposal would change that to 4 occasions of all 3 of them together, then one of the weekends at DC1 going on Saturday and DC2 on the Sunday. I accept that this would be a 'loss' of 6 hours contact with each child, but feel that the more intimate nature of the one to one time means it would balance out in terms of quality of contact. Other contact during the year has been offered, including every weekend in between but the DC's father has declined and wants to stick to the court ordered 3 weekends a year.
I had legal representation up until the last hearing a month ago. Because of the drawn out nature of the case and my ex ramping my costs up, I can't afford representation any more so will be self repping at the next hearing next month, otherwise I would just ask my solicitor and not bug this board again.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.
Legal matters
Contact with children as a unit or as individuals?
13 replies
DespicableWee · 18/09/2013 11:17
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.