Harrassment ?

[Fifi782005]

Hi there ,
I have posted previously about our situation but to keep it brief im looking for your opinions on whether or not you would contact the police .
We are currently going through a court application for our child's paternal grandparent to have contact . We as his parents are still together and opposing contact at every level and we have recently had cafcass vist (report due shortly to find out there recomendations) and awaiting to return to court .
This is where I need your advice the grandparents have taken to driving past our house ( live in a culdesac) frequently we were not sure it was them but DH saw them again yesterday as he was outside they drove past and got to the end of road turned round and drove past again really slowly with windows open with no attempt to not be seen ! They have a new car so now we know it has been them in the last few weeks .We find this extremely intimidating and we are concerned that if we had been out side with little one they would try to get him (he is only two) or confront us about court case/ denying contact . They have never seem our little our little one and we have no contact at all .
Should we contact the police to have it on record or just ignore ? DH works and im scared to go out on my own in case they are there and confront me when I have little one with me or worse still try to snatch him !
This whole thing is causing so much stress :(

What would you do ?

[olgaga]

Keep a diary of these events and get photo/video evidence if possible. Talk to your local police non-emergency number first on 101 and talk to them about your fears. They may refer you to the police as it is intimidating and potentially harassment.

[TheMonster]

You shouldn't have to be scared about going out. Contact the police. Can grandparents really apply for access in court? Don't tell my heinous in laws that!

[olgaga]

Just to add, contact applications by grandparents are rarely successful!

[tribpot]

This sounds very intimidating, OP :( I would definitely speak to the police to find out what your rights are. Can you photograph them so you have evidence of the frequency of their drive bys?

[MrsTomHardy]

I agree, keep a diary, take photo's and video's if you can....

[Fifi782005]

Thank you for your replies.
I have called the police on 101 and explained the situation and they are sending someone round later on this evening . After reading your posts it made me realise that being made to feel like this in our own home is not acceptable and that them already taking us to court is frustrating enough and they are not going to control other areas of our life to !
I just hope that cafcass listened to our concerns and make the right reccomendations so we don't have that worry over our lives until we go back to court :(
[olgaga] may I ask if you have experience in family law ? From your post saying that grandparents are rarely successful it sounds like you have had dealings in this area ? We are so shocked that it's got this far to be honest and unable to get legal aid we find the whole legal side very worrying and not having a scolicitor to turn to makes us feel like we have nobody to turn to for reassurance and support :( . Just hope we can get our lives back to normal soon

[RedHelenB]

Maybe they just want a glimpse of their grandchild? As you have written it it doesn't sound threatening.

[LadySybildeChocolate]

I agree with Red, they sound very desperate. I do know of cases (in Scotland) where the grandparents have been given contact so it does happen.

[ElsieMc]

Yes, grandparents can and do get contact. Generally as part of the contact arrangements when the parents have separated. It is seen as positive that the child has contact with the wider family. As you will already know, they firstly have to apply to the court to gain permission to become a party to proceedings.

However, I do not know the circumstances as to why you both oppose contact and it does seem an unusual situation.

I am a grandparent with a residence order for two children in difficult, sensitive circumstances. When our daughter left with her second child, we applied for contact immediately to help safeguard him and the Judge stated that he could not understand why she would refuse contact when he had lived with us since birth. We got an interim contact order by agreement. As I have said, our circumstances appear very different to yours.

[chilled7up]

Why do you not want them to have contact with your DS?

[Fifi782005]

Not to go into to much detail but DH had an abusive childhood we have had no contact with them and she is not perusing contact with granddaughter just grandson !
There is no relationship for the courts to protect and I do not believe these incidents of them driving past our house are out of desperation , does she expect our two year old to be out there playing on his own for her to be able to catch a glimpse ?? It is obvious that one of us would be with him getting in and out of the car etc .This is another way of trying to control and I'm surprised that she would have not been advised by her lawyer to not do anything to jeopardise her already unstable case !

[olgaga]

Applications by grandparents are usually made when the parents have separated and the grandparents on the non-resident parent's side are prevented from seeing the grandchild where previously there was a happy and meaningful relationship. Maintaining a meaningful relationship is seen as being in the interests of the child.

In the case you describe, where there is a history of childhood abuse and you as parents are both agreed that your DH's parents should have no contact due to concern over child welfare, plus the lack of any prior relationship, added to which their intention is to only pursue contact with one rather than both grandchildren, I doubt if it will be successful. Indeed I'm rather surprised they were given leave to make the application in these circumstances.

Obviously I can only go on the information you've provided but on that basis I can't imagine the application would be successful.

I am pleased you have contacted the police, at least that way there will be a record. Do you have legal representation? If not I would definitely contact a family solicitor asap.

[tribpot]

I think the OP has mentioned above that they don't have a solicitor because of costs. OP, does your house insurance come with any legal cover? I do think you need to have a solicitor in your corner.

[olgaga]

You might want to try the CAB, or the free advice lines run by Women's Aid and Rights of Women:

www.womensaid.org.uk/?gclid=COb08L7-iLICFcYMfAodw0EA3Q

www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/