Abusive Stalking Using the Courts

[Tahrir]

Hi there,

I would like if there is anyone like me who is victim of an ex who is using the legal system to continue his harrassement.

I am french national and been living in UK for a bit more than 5 years. I ve met last year a man through a internet dating website.
I had an affair of about 4 months with him even if I discovered within the first month that he had mental health issues.
I did not mind at this time as this was nothing serious for me.
When I planned to stop definitely this affair I discovered that I was pregnant I told him and he advised me to get abortion as he never wanted to have children.
I ve decide it to keep the child and take the all responsibility for religious reason and also because I ve done abortion 10 years ago and decided to never do it again.
He got very nervous about it and never spoke of the child, the little time I ve been in contact with him at this period he brought me lot of stress.

I decided to stop contact with him and let him know that I will contact him when the time will be right (meaning the child birth etc..)
He drove mad and started to harass me texting me, trying to invite himself to my place and asking me why he deserved this and that we had to see each other regularily.

I told him to stop harassing me assured him that he will have a relationship with his child but not me. This did not stop him so I had to report him to the police.When the child was born 7 months ago he insited to register on the birth certificate with me. I said that I did not want to give him parental responsibility as soon as I could not trust him yet.(also social services and the police told me not to do) Shortly after giving birth, He applied for prohibited step order preventing me to go visit my family in France.
This devastated me as I am isolated from my family here and I had very difficult time to organize everything here during my pregnancy: finding a suitable place to live for the baby and me, work, organizing finance etc...
At the first court hearing in exchange of giving him parental responsibility and contact with the baby for 1hour and half fornightly I was able to visit my family 3 weeks in January.

Since then I also want to go back living permanently in France. He is opposing everything when I want to go to visit my family in France he intentionaly do not reply straight away and impose such conditions that I will have to apply to the court again. He does not pay any maintenance, he makes everything difficult. He now ask for his surname added to the child name, he said that he should have been consulted regarding the child firstname, that he wants a copy of her red book, that he wants to see the baby more often and longer, that he wants my adress in France my exact itinerary when I will go visit my family.... I am just so fed up because I know that all this would seem normal but it is not, I know that he is just using the law to harrass me. He is angry, he wants me to be with him and use the child as an excuse. I just feel myself like vomiting when I think about what is happening and the law is helping him.

Is there anyone who is in the same situation I would feel less lonely...

[Collaborate]

I am sure that there are plenty in your situation.

If you've not done so already, you ought to be applying for permission to permanently remove your child from the country. If the court believes he is doing as you say, ie harassing you, it can direct under s91(14) of the Children Act that he has to get a judge's permission before applying back to court.