Representing myself in family court against abh drug taking aggressive baby's dad

[Worriedmama2]

Hi I'm wondering if any1 can help, I've just received a court order for next month my 9 month olds dad is taking me to court for access. I stopped him from seeing her in November after finding out he'd been in prison before I met him for an unprovoked violent assault on a member of the public and finding out he'd had my daughter staying at his girlfriends who is a lap dancer and on drugs also he is on steroids which he blamed for the abh charge and cocaine. He has had my daughter about 5 times since she was born, each time he brought her back he was verbally abusive to me making threats, the last time he had her he rang me screaming down the phone because she wouldn't go to sleep, I was panicking he was going to shake her or something as he was losing his temper. I stopped her going as I was worried for her safety. Also he has give me maintenance about 6 weeks in 9 months. I do not qualify for legal aid so will be representing myself which I am very worried about, does anyone have any advice? Thanks

[Olympia2012]

Firstly, don't mix maintenance payments with contact. Judges dint like the two being connected

The previous conviction shouldn't stop him having contact

In fact, as it us, your reasons sound a bit flimsy.

He would probably get contact in a contact centre building up to unsupervised, then overnights if it all goes well. What contact were you thinking of for her?

[Worriedmama2]

I dont want any contact but if forced to do so would only be comfortable with supervised contact in a contact centre. I do not feel my reasons are flimsy! Any mother who leaves their newborn baby with someone on drugs who jumped on a member of the public in a takeaway and bit his ear off would be a cause for concern. He is a very violent and aggressive person. He is on probation and classed as a high risk to the public at present. Also obviously i do not want my daughter anywhere near people taking drugs. I am concerned about my child's and my own safety dealing with such a person.

[olgaga]

Worriedmama2 I hope you come back to this thread. I certainly don't think your reasons are flimsy!

Have you spoken to Women's Aid? There is a free helpline number you can call and their website is very helpful. Look through it, there may be a local contact too:
www.womensaid.org.uk/

Also see Rights of Women, have a good read of their advice leaflets here:
www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/legal.php

They also have a number to call. It may take time getting through to either organisation, so use it to all the advice leaflets you can!

Good luck.

[Olympia2012]

Er, you didn't mention all that in your op! What does your solicitor say?

[olgaga]

Olympia she has said she is representing herself. Just guessing of course, but she probably doesn't qualify for legal aid and can't afford a solicitor!

I also thought her initial OP was adequately illustrative of the problems she is facing with her ex.

[olgaga]

OP you might find this leaflet in particular helpful to you, whether or not you see a solicitor:
www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/pdfs/Legal/child_contact_2011.pdf

[Olympia2012]

Don't you get a free initial consultation anymore? Thought it was a half hour with a sol?

[BobbiFleckman]

If you are in London, try the Mary Ward Legal centre where you can get free advice from qualified lawyers. You may even be able to get someone to represent you at the hearing.
There must be similar organisations elsewhere in the country, and perhaps the Mary Ward people can point you in that direction.

[YourFanjoIsNotAHandbag]

There are a lot of free legal centers, can you ask your local CAB for a list?
They are really busy but there are drop in sessions and then they will make an appointment with the relevant person.

They are really good, I used Mary ward and they were excellent.

[olgaga]

Not all solicitors offer a free initial consultation - in any case half an hour is just about long enough to talk through the basics and see whether you "get on".

I would definitely do that if you can find two or three in your area - but I would advise you to do all the reading you can before you do that, so that you can make the most of those opportunities.

Women's Aid and Rights of Women (links above) can both point you in the direction of any pro bono (free) legal advice - much of which is excellent, as the above posters have outlined.

[taylorellen]

Go the to Gingerbread web site, its really helpful and you can call and get advice. Lots of posts as well that might help

[Worriedmama2]

Thanks for your help every1 I will try those websites. I do not qualify for legal aid as I am a nurse in the armed forces. I have been to see one solicitor and got my half an hour free she didn't even say if she thought I had a case or not. I have done some investigating and found out he is claiming legal aid although he is a subcontractor and earns a fairly decent wage and he is living with some1, can u still claim legal aid if ur cohabiting and both earning a wage or do they have to be married to take her wages into account? Also he is driving a works van when he got banned for drink driving for 3 years earlier this year. I am in court a week on Wednesday.

[Collaborate]

OP the courts generally take the view that if you were in a relationship with him and had his child he doesn't suddenly become the anti-Christ just because the relationship ends. You can't have thought he was that bad once (and not so long ago at that). Therefore saying he's a bad un and always was will tend to get you nowhere.

[PurplePidjinghamPalace]

Finding out my partner was using illegal drugs would cause me to end the relationship. Subsequently finding out that they had a tendency to violence would mean i steered well clear. If i were unlucky enough to have a child tying me to them, I'd be doing my damndest to keep the child away from that too!

Op, what evidence do you have that he's unsuitable for unsupervised contact - arrests for drugs since you split, witnesses to outbursts directed at you/dc, etc?