Contact orders - other family members?

[chattymitchy]

Hi, I've posted on here a few times, and as usual my XP is causing trouble again.

My XP has a contact order to see DS every week (he comes once a fortnight). I have always said that he can bring other family members, as long as he brings another adult if he brings his nephews to visit (I'm worried about an inexperienced XP looking after a lively 2 year old and other kids under the age of 5 - especially getting in and out of cars on the road etc).

He is now telling me I can't dictate who he does and doesn't bring on visits, and that I have to contact his solicitor if I don't want certain individuals coming. There's two things here - the first is that I have never said that there's people I don't want having contact with DS, the second is that I think that the contact order is solely between DS and XP, and that I don't have to be obliging and let anyone else join in the visits. Is that right?

Also, I'm only worried about DS's safety when I've stipulated an additional adult has to visit if the nephews are coming to see DS. I don't think it's unreasonable, although it's not stipulated in the contact order - who needs to see the solicitor - me or XP?!!

Thanks!

[EllenandBump]

Are they visiting you are your property? I understand your worries. You only want EVERYONE to stay safe.

[EllenandBump]

Anyway, if it is your property YOU do have the right to say who crosses the threshold, so yes you do have the right to say. t

[mumblechum1]

Unless the contact order specifies that other named individuals can't be brought into contact with your child, he can, unfortunately, carry on doing what he's doing, however the point of contact is to have one to one interaction; if that isn't happening with other people around, you should raise it with him from that perspective and if he won't change his mind, ask him to go to mediation.
Frankly, it's not worth spending a lot of legal fees on if you can get it sorted amicably.

[mumblechum1]

The above advice is on the assumption that he isn't bringing all these people to your house, obv.

[balia]

As Mumblechum says, assuming the visits don't take place in your house - because them there would be two adults so no concerns, you've said they'll be out and about getting into cars etc - then I think he is correct; it is his parenting time and he makes the decisions. Surely it would be seen as in the child's interest to have relationships with his wider family? Is there an underlying reason why your XP can't learn how to cope with 3 kids under 5 for a small period of time? (eg drugs, MH issues)