Help, advice in regard to father of my DD

[Backtoworktomorrow]

I'm not sure where to start of what to call this, but please be nice. Regular haven name changed out of embarrassment.

I dont know if you see these threads often, if so im sorry,
I'll try to keep it short,

I've got a beautiful daughter 3months old now, but the father dosnt want to know, and in effect has abandoned his daughter - i didn't want to sleep with him in the first place but that's another issue.

He has said to me that he is having nothing to do with her, I couldnt put his name on the birth certificate, but having spoke to him since she was born through a friend - he wont speak to me, he says he still wants nothing to do with her.

Legally, what can i do? I've spoke to his sister about doing a DNA test, as they dont believe she is his, im 100% positive she is. However he wont do one,

So, what can i do? Can i take him to court? I dont want him to think he's got off Scott free, i think he needs to acknowledge his daughter, ect.

Any advice would great.

Thanks!

[namechangerbat]

Then walk away and let him continue to be the immature twat that he is

You and more importantly your daughter deserve better and if he can't do that , then don't keep offering him the chance.

What a bastard.

[namechangerbat]

Fwiw my friend has this too - her baby is now 1, the father didn't wan any contact at all until he bumped into them both in the local city. He said hi and then walked on by. He exchanged a few text messages and gave her £45 for some nappies then phoned & informed her he didn't actually want to know and was happy as he was selfish cunt my friend was devastated on behalf of her DD but has now met a lovely chap and is enjoying her daughter not worrying if her twatty ex is going to tip up an play happy families

Have you got some RL support? Mum? Sister?

[Backtoworktomorrow]

Thanks for your replies, shes 3months now, I've spoke to him twice, i just dont want to get into the position in however many years her to go off and find her dad, and me look like the bad one. He is a twat.

and also i cant believe anyone would just ignore the fact they've got a child!

I've got tonnes of support in RL, i live with my mum and dad, as im still a student and they've been so supportive, i'm on a placement year, and we've managed it so i can go back to work, and do my final year at uni, i couldnt ask for more, which i know how lucky i am.

But, its when people say 'He knocked you up and abandoned you', makes me a bit angry.

[LittleGnu]

If you didn't want to sleep with him, why did you?

[Snorbs]

A court can't and won't try to force an uninterested parent to be an interested and involved parent. If he doesn't want to know then I'm afraid that there's very little you can do about it. It's sad for your daughter, I know, but you can't hold someone at gunpoint.

What you can do (if you haven't already) is ask the CSA to collect 15% of his net salary as child maintenance for your daughter. If he claims he is not the father then the CSA will organise a supervised DNA test. If it turns out he is the father then he pays the cost of this test, if he's not then you pay the cost. If he refuses to do the test then the CSA will assume he is the father and pursue him for maintenance on that basis. If he is a UK salaried employee with a fairly stable employment history then the CSA will likely do a reasonable job. If he's self employed, works overseas or is otherwise complicated, then they'll likely be useless.

[Backtoworktomorrow]

He had pinned me down, was on top of me, and i couldn't move,

you might think but, i'm really tiny, 5'0 and he was a 16st 6'4.
But thats not the issue anyway,

[Snorbs]

Oh my word. I'm so sorry. Have you considered going to the police? Or talking to Rape Crisis? He sounds dangerous.

[Backtoworktomorrow]

I didn't mean it to sound like i want to force him to be interested in my daughter, i meant more like your second paragraph snorbs. I think thats my next step.

How do i go about doing it? Do i contact the number through the direct.gov website?

No, no police, many reasons, his family are 'pretend gangsters' and have threatened me countless times, i think it'll open up a can of worms, and dont want everyone talking about it behind my back, i'd rather just move on.

[RedHelenB]

Not often that I sat this but in this instance I would leave alone as presumably you would have the aggro of the family if you went to the CSA. Did you WANT to put a rapist down on the birth certificate?

[RedHelenB]

Not often that I sat this but in this instance I would leave alone as presumably you would have the aggro of the family if you went to the CSA. Did you WANT to put a rapist down on the birth certificate?