What should I do??

[PhillipaPhlopp]

(Namechanged)
This is a bit complicated but I'll try to keep it simple!

Had a very brief fling in 1998, got pregnant, Man vanished, DD born - single parent from the start. Man NOT named on birth certificate, NEVER had any contact with me or DD.

At time and for first few years, I was on Income Support. CSA forced me to give them his name but they couldn't find him and they told me the case was closed.

Fast forward to about 2005/6, out of the blue got letter from CSA demanding DD and I go for DNA test - either CSA had tracked him down or he had requested it - I'll never know for sure. Still no contact from the Man.

DNA test proves he is DD's father. Never hear from CSA again.

Now. I assume, and might be wrong, that because I was on Income Support, any maintenance he had to pay to the CSA after DNA test will have gone straight to the Treasury. I certainly never saw any of it and never got notified of anything at all after the DNA test. I wasn't bothered, I'd brought her up by myself and didn't need his support. DD also not bothered, she has no interest in him whatsoever.

I am married now and DH is best stepdad in the world However, DD is now a young teenager and is getting more and more expensive! We provide everything she needs, she doesn't go without the things she needs but sometimes she has to wait a while for them if money is tight. Right now, money is extremely tight and we are struggling (both self employed, not bringing in much money right now).

I am considering re-opening my case with CSA to apply for maintenance as I have not been on Income Support for about 3 years now. Neither myself nor DD want any contact with the Man, so would it be wrong to apply for maintenance? Just really feel that we have coped all this time without his money, but now we really need some help with basic things like shoes and winter coat, new school uniform etc.

But would this entitle him to contact with DD if he decided he wanted it? To reiterate - we were not married, he is not named on her birth certificate, we have never had any contact at all, he has no parental responsibility. And would the CSA give him our contact details? We don't want contact, she just needs a bit of financial support now she's growing up and I think he should contribute after getting off scott-free for 13 years...

Can anyone answer my questions, and do you think it would be wrong to apply for maintenance?

Thank you.

[catherinea1971]

Hi, I would apply, what do you have to lose really. No it isn't wrong, h has responsibility for her as much as you do and the fact he doesn't see her is not relevant. Good luck:)

[catherinea1971]

And it wouldn't entitle him to contact, if he sought contact you can go through the courts who will give a lot of sway to what your daughter wants because of her age.
The CSA won't give out your details, they're not allowed to.

[Kayzr]

Yes get in touch with the csa. They might even back date it for you!

[PhillipaPhlopp]

OK thank you both for putting our minds at rest, I'll get onto it and see what happens. DD is adamant that she wants no contact (he is a stranger to her after all) but she knows if she ever wants to track him down we will help her.

[sneezecakesmum]

CSA sadly does not backdate, it only goes back to the time of your application. But I would certainly go for maintenance as it doesnt give him automatic right to see DD, and if she didn't want to see him thats taken into account by a court.

[Firefly2]

We are discussing similar things in another thread - you may be interested in this petition I set up today - please sign and spread the word on here or facebook or anything -need lots of signatures for it to be put to government

epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/24749


Thanks :)

[Firefly2]

epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/24749

[RedHelenB]

Personally I would let sleeping dogs lie. She has a dad in her step dad. If CSA were getting payments from him then you would have received them after you stopped claiming income support.