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What is it really like with 4dc

24 replies

amanda12 · 06/01/2009 21:04

Hi
This is my first post in this section, we have just decided to ttc#4.I am really excited but quite nervous about the reality of having 4 children! I have 3 ds who are 5,4 and 2. Am i mad to have a 4th? We will need a bigger car but will have to manage in our current house which is only 3 bed. I also don't know anyone who has 4dc and am quite worried about peoples reaction as we are quite young im only 26!!! Money wise i think we will be ok as dp has a secure job and is very busy at work. I don't work but have a career that i will be returning to when the children are older. Does going from 3 to 4 make a huge difference?

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jes74 · 06/01/2009 21:09

I have 4dc ages 8,7,2 and 1 and I love it but it can be hard doing certain things for my eldest two especially there evening bits such as beavers etc as dh works shifts so I spend alot of time alone. That said I wouldnt change it, and whilst possibly harder at first now they entertain each other lots and I love the atmosphere of home.

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whyme2 · 06/01/2009 21:10

I think going from 3 to 4 is a smaller adjustment than going from 1 to 2. However there is more work and also great fun. I have 4 dcs aged 5,3, 2 and 4 months so probably harder as they are quite close together. You will always fill the space youhave IYKWIM. Just be organised and ruthless with junk and have good storage.
Also don't be worried about being young - My dh is only 26 now!!
Have fun!

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4andnotout · 06/01/2009 21:10

Hiya i too am 26 and have 4 dd's. They are 7,3,15months and 10 weeks. We have a 3 bed too and fit in it ok, when the girls are older we will have 2 in each of the bigger bedrooms, and if we have more dc we will just have to make the room The only thing which i find harder work is the washing and ironing as it is never ending, i do a load of nappies every night as well as 3-4 loads of general laundry a day!

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mrsdisorganised · 06/01/2009 21:11

IMO the biggest change was from having 1 child to 2...so no it doesn't make any difference!
I think having children young is great and to be honest just ignore all the bad comments...unfortunatly you will probably get a couple from those that are maybe a bit narrow-minded
On the car front all I can say is get something with a good boot!!! Just bought my dream car, VW caravelle and going from a year with a nightmare Zafira to that has been such a relief!
Our house has 2 bedrooms at the mo but we will be extending this year giving us 3/4 if pushed, all the girls are in the same room and they get on brilliantly...most the time
Good luck with your decison making

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amanda12 · 06/01/2009 21:19

Thanks everybody it is quite reassuring to know that i'm not mad wanting 4dc and that i'm not the only youngish mum who wants 4.

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theboob · 06/01/2009 21:23

I'm 27 and TTC dc4......its a secret though as im worried about the reaction from other people esp my mother

good luck

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amanda12 · 06/01/2009 21:28

I can't bring myself to even think about telling my mother i don't think i will get away with its an accident for the 4th time!!!

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theboob · 06/01/2009 21:32

well that's what i'm going for,until the birth then i will tell her the truth
i know its nobodys buisness but ours but i cant bear to go through all of the AGAIN.....ARE YOU MAD remarks it makes me so

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smellen · 06/01/2009 21:32

What's the problem being a young mum of 4. I have 2 and would have had 4 if I had started ten years earlier - alas I am a bit past it now for a "famille nombreuse" but I was one of four when a kid, and loved running with the pack...

Have fun trying!

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mrsdisorganised · 06/01/2009 21:33

My mum is great it's my dad I worried about! Mind you it would be a bit hypocritical (sorry spelling!) if they said anything as they had 8....

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mckenzie · 06/01/2009 21:36

I'm friends with Marathonmum and she has four DCs (ranging from 8 to 1). She also works, is about to finish another degree and can run a marathon is 3 hours! I think if 4 children is what you wish for then 4 children is what you will be able to cope with and be happy with. Ignore any snide comments. People like me whose first comment was something like "oh my goodness" are perhaps just jealous (I was/am.)

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theboob · 06/01/2009 21:36

lol MrsD i would love 8 ,feel a bit sad that this will be the last time I'm going to ttc ,but i said no more after 3 and here i am now

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LongStory · 06/01/2009 22:29

Have posted this on a number of similar threads; am expecting nos 4 and 5 (both unplanned - how careless!) at the moment. Didn't know before that the probability of twins increases with the number of previous babies... Have fun!!!

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RiaParkinson · 06/01/2009 22:29

a doddle!!!

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Clarissimo · 06/01/2009 22:30

chaos

but nice chaos

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Katiestar · 08/01/2009 18:50

I found going from 3 to 4 DCs the hardest jump to make.But that might be because the 4th was a very cryy baby and DH was working very long hours.

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Madmentalbint · 10/01/2009 08:10

4 is great!
I got the "haven't you worked out what is causing it yet?" comments too.
The worst comment was "oh, I wouldn't have any more than 3, I don't think I could give each of them enough individual attention"
I honestly believe that most negative comments come from jealous people.

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KatB · 10/01/2009 23:38

Hey! Lovely to 'meet' likeminded people I am 29 but I had 3 by 23 [Blush] who are now 12, 10 and 5. I am TTC number 4 following an 'accident' and subsequent mc. I have had negative comments since I had my 1st at 16. I now have a degree (in May I will anyway) a lovely DH and 3 lovely kids who I am young enough to enjoy until they are 60 at least .
My Mum had 3 but would have had more if she could so she is really supportive, my Dad just gets concerned about me but he would be supportive too.

Interesting comments, it's nice to hear from people with 4 as I actually don't know any well enough to ask many questions. I think that because of the age gaps I have it a bit easier than those wonderful mothers with a few of pre-school age (having a 2 yr gap between ds and dd1 put me off small age gaps forever). I found having dd2 was so much easier as the older 2 could halp me out a bit and were at school so I could spend time with her. Now dd2 has started school and I have got empty nest syndrome again - most of my friends think I'm bonkers - but in a good way!!

Kat

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OHBollox · 11/01/2009 22:18

oh, I wouldn't have any more than 3, I don't think I could give each of them enough individual attention

I always snap back with I'm sure YOU couldn't (delivered with a smile)

The other one I get is "oh I could never cope with all those children" to which I've answered, no if mine behaved like yours I couldn't either.

Fight fire with fire I say.

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mygirllollipop · 26/01/2009 16:20

I found the 4th just slipped into the family. I had the 4th at 23 but by then was beyond caring about judgey people.
In fact DH often forgot we had DD4 and left her in the car etc!

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PlainOldPeachy · 26/01/2009 16:23

We have 4 kids (and a 3 bed house LOL).

The fourth child has been a revelation. Not because of the workload or stress (or even the washing much as that has been a shock!).

No because of how much mroe relaxed I am, how much I have learned to just enjoy the moment and treasure the little things. As such I am enjoying this baby mroe than the others (but not love more- certainly don't mean that!)

Number four has been, and is, a joy.

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lindenlass · 26/01/2009 16:24

I'm 28 and have 4 dds aged 5.5, 4, 2 and 4m and I LOVE IT!!!! So much fun. Completely and utterly exhausting, but so, so worth it .

We have a ford galaxy but only a 3 bed house - two double bedrooms. We have one and the girls have the other. Ours is full of bed (king plus single) which we are often sharing. Theirs has a bunk bed and toys etc. The 3rd bedroom is like our dressing room/spare room/laundry room All our clothes are in there, and our washing gets hung there. Means more room in the other two rooms for giant beds and hundreds of pink toys

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notmyfault · 26/01/2009 21:54

We have 6 kids,soon to be 7 ,all under 10.We have a three bedroom house(in reality 2.5 bedrooms as the smallest is 7x8 ft).We have one toilet,small kitchen,one living room.We do have a minibus instead of a car.
Think you'll do just fine with 4.Your life is what you make of it.You'll be busy,you'll be tired,but you'll be happy.It's so worth it.
Oh and don't worry about people's reactions.Your family,your kids,your body,your life.Do what you want

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leya · 26/01/2009 22:24

Hey people in my club! Yeay 'hello'
I am 32 with 5.
3 ds's & 2 dd's. We always wanted a big family, we have 3 bedrooms too. We have even had our neighbours say thing's like 'oohh, are'nt you over crowded?' Don't really care what they think & no we are not over crowded. My husband works to provide for us, very often weekends to.
We have our up's & down's, tears & laughter, But we are a family and we all love each other and thats all that counts. You will be absolutley fine.

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