Booked in at clinic tomorrow but still undecided about 3rd pregnancy

[yesnomaybe]

Hello,

I am 40 with 2 kids aged 9&6. For various reasons, all of which I am beating myself up for, I am 10wks pregnant with number 3.

I have been to the clinic twice already to have a termination but couldn't go through with it as I have had one before and it's a difficult experience.
I'm not working right now but this is recent as I contract, and was expecting to go into another contract.

ANYWAY, here I am stressing out of my mind as the thought of going back to those baby days is not at all appealing. All the financial concerns and loss of freedom, sleepless nights and years of tantrums are all I can think about.
However, my sisters in law are having babies when this would be due and I know that would be really hard. I love my kids and I know I would love this one.

My husband will support me either way but said our lives were getting very good and he would rather not progress with the pregnancy. He's very supportive though, he just wanted to be honest.
I feel so conflicted it's driving me absolutely nuts.
Anyone relate? Or can tell me how it ended for them??

Thanks :)

[hookedonamoonagedaydreem]

Despite always wanting 4 DH and I decided to stop at 2. Then I fell pg with DC3! I was in total and utter shock.

In the end 3 was really fantastic, he just slotted in. Somehow I became even more organised with everything: money, the house, the DCs. It was almost like I had to step things up a gear. It totally changed our plans and we decided to go for DC4 in the end. Work wise I will do something self employed, but that has forced me to be more creative. DH has had the advantage that his career gets all the focus so things have worked out will for him...so financially things have taken a turn for the better rather than the worse which was possible not an outcome we had initially expected.

Not sure if all that helps at all OP...

[RainwildsGirl]

from reading your post the things that jumped out are that twice you've not been able to go through with a termination - this would indicate very strongly that its not what you really want.

we're not as far out of the baby stage as you, youngest will be nearly 4 when DC4 arrives, but whilst we don't really want to do the 'baby stage' again we try to think of it as a short term thing - its a few years of sucking it up for the rest of our loves having DC4 in it.

the biggest point in your OP is the financial side, which is obviously a big consideration but from your post i would say that if you can find a way to make the financials work then you would want to keep this baby.

I'm not sure I'm making my point very well but basically - you will have to live with a termination, that you have backed out of twice, for the rest of your life - you will have to live with the baby stage for a couple of years. you say that you will love this baby and that your DH is supportive - i think if you can make the money work you will overall be happier if you keep the baby.

but that is just going from your post.

[dietstartsmonday]

Hi op, I am in similar position. I have 3 teens. Now pregnant. Booked in next week for termination. But still very unsure.
Biggest issue for us is money. I am higher earner so mat leave would be 8 weeks after the birth max. I am just not prepared to do that. But no way around it

[yesnomaybe]

Thanks so much for getting back to me.

I decided not to go through with the termination - my husband is very quiet at the moment, think he thought I would do it in the end!!

God know what will happen now - and what friends/family will say!! Slightly embarrassed by the whole situation...

[CanIKondo]

I'm glad you're happy and settled in your decision OP. Don't be embarrassed! When you do tell family/friends sell it as - I've got great news... Give your DH some time to come round to the idea. Good luck!