Struggling

[TerrariaMum]

I posted here before about cooking and got such helpful supportive responses so I've decided to post on another subject.

I have 3 children under 4, 2 of whom are under 2 and I am just struggling to find things to do with them. I take them to the playground but that's all I can think of to do. DD1 won't use the toilet yet though she is very happy with her potty so that limits where we can go, not to mention the only playground that is good for DD1 and DD2 has no public loo anywhere near it.

I try to read to them a lot but the shape of many children's books are not very good when you are bfing a 4 mo DS. And DD1 still doesn't get the concept of not drawing on walls despite repeated admonition plus DD2 just tries to eat the crayons.

DD1 is starting nursery in September which should help, but for the moment, I feel overwhelmed and frustrated much as I love my DCs. I also really struggle with making friends (introvert, geeky, Aspie) so I am isolated in that way esp as my best mum friend moved to Oz.

Not sure why I am posting. Guess I just wanted a whinge. Feel better now.

[Itsgreatwith8]

I had 4 under 4 and it's intense. Have you tried getting out to local playgroups? Easier to feed the baby there and let the older two amuse themselves with the activities that are organised for them. Gets everyone out, busy with out making lots of mess at home. Usually cheap and good fun.

Also, we had a bit of a ritual of watching something like playschool together in the mornings whilst I fed the baby and getting ideas for the day's activities from that - usually something simple like water play or making a face mask but meant we turned it off and got straight on with something without me having to plan in advance which is exhausting in a sleep deprived state. The playschool website has background resources I think which helps too.

Otherwise, puppet shows, water play, hide & seek, nature walks, dancing competitions, sleeping games, yoga, obstacle courses, chalking, play dough, tent making - write a long list and stick it on the fridge then look at that when stuck for ideas or even put them in a hat for the kids to choose one as a reward.

[TerrariaMum]

Thank you so much for your response. We live in London which one would think is great for things but it really isn't for the very small.

I used to have a group I went to that I loved, but DD1 is now too old for it and its timings are such that I won't be able to go even when DD1 is in nursery.

Also, I can never relax in those arenas because I am terrified that people will think I am a 'permissive parent' (am a bit of a lentil weaver , blw, natural term bfing)who thinks their child is a 'special snowflake' so I am always on high alert to pounce on any misbehaviour. Not conducive to bfing. And DD2 (nearly 17 mo) is on a mission to put the world in her mouth which I doubt anyone would appreciate. Plus we are having unexpected problems with our house which means pinching pence and restricting messy play unfortunately and playgroups can be expensive in London. DD1 is only going to nursery because she has turned 3 and can have 15 hours free.

I am sorry to sound so negative. A lot of the time I am happy and I manage well, today is just not a very good day.

The girls do love to dance to the Charleston so that's covered at least and DD2 was singing on the stairs today which was adorable. I frequently feed DS on DD1's bed while she and DD2 play with Lego or blocks so there's that too. And DD2 tried to share her sandwich with DS yesterday which was very sweet. When I write those out, maybe I'm not doing as badly as I thought.

I will try the playschool thing though, thank you.

[TribbleWithoutATardis]

Which part of London are you? There are lentil weaver groups on FB which have regular meets.

[TerrariaMum]

Not on FB but will have a google, thank you. Used to go to LLL meetings but timing all wrong now.

[NAR4]

I took out membership to a fab soft play centre when my youngest started walking unaided at 7m. I used to take everything I needed to stay all day, including drinks and packed lunches. I found most people came on set days and times, so they quickly became familiar and readily chatted to me.

Have you tried strapping your middle dc into the highchair to colour, so it can't end up on the walls? I find this works well with my 18m old.

Have you got any Children's Centres near by? They do loads for the under 5s and are normally free.

[MultipleMama]

If mess play isn't an option how about going in the garden to chalk - it's so easy to wash off. You could also to roleplay games like dens with sheets, pillows for stones and the carpet as lava, nature crafts i.e collecting leaves and making pictures with them and painting them - you could do this outside to avoid mess like we do, pasta game; stick spagetti sticks of different sizes into playdoh and get them to put the cheerios (or other cerels/food with holes) on the sticks. We hardly have time for soft play areas so I have to improvise a lot. Usually I just make stuff up Like a PP said, having a go-to list comes in handy when you're stuck. I know how hard it can be having young ones home especially when they're bored and have nothing to keep them occupied. I have 6 under 6 but thankfully 4 are now in school/nursery so I can relax a little more!

And I am completely clueless to what a lentil weaver is ....

[TerrariaMum]

See, I knew this was the right place to post. Thank you everyone.

MultipleMama, a lentil weaver is a rather hippyish parent. I consider myself to be one because I do natural term bfing, baby led weaning, and we are vegetarian (DH and I have been veggie since we were born).

[MultipleMama]

Well, I do all that too, and DH and I are Vegetarian and Straight Edge (DC are Veggie too). I'm also very strict on food choices and very environmental friendly .

[TerrariaMum]

Then you're one of us, welcome to the club . Besides, lentils are very tasty and an important part of a veggie diet.

[MultipleMama]

Aww, shucks. Thanks Can't stand lentils, though!

[TerrariaMum]

Fair enough. I cook daal a lot because it is simple. What simple things do you do that involve protein but not lentils? I like them but I am getting bored. Also, hats off to you with 6 under 6, forgot to say.

[peppapigonaloop]

Have you got a travel potty? Potette I think they are called.. you can take them anywhere then and just pop it down when they need to go (has little bags) so you are not limited to parks with public loos etc at least!

[Artandco]

We are in London also

• the museums are great. Older two can toddle around, baby in sling/ pram. Indoors so good in rain and usually free. Most have kids parts but in general whole museum is suitable. We go to the science/ history/ v and a and the tates regularly.
  

• the parks. Take bus to the large ones if not close. Baby can feed/ sleep in sling, older ones look at ducks/ play on tree stumps/ with sticks. Take hot choc
  

• covent garden. Bunch of entertainers for kids to watch, empty weekdays out of holidays. Lots of places to stop for coffee/ ice cream
  

• libraries usually have some kind of song/ story time a few times a week. Otherwise good for just looking at books. Most water stones also have a story session
  

• ride the buses in rain. Take baby in sling, older two walking/ on reins and go upstairs on bus to end of line ( if it runs through Central London Lots to see)

[MultipleMama]

I do a lot of things with Quinoa, Tempeh (instead of Tofu) and Quorn. Like salads, skewer sticks with cheese, stirfrys, burgers. Lots of proteins. Kids like lentils but I don't so I rarely use them except to make like a side salad for them with the DC.

I get a lot of recipes offline, print them off and stick them in a folder labelled quick/easy and go to them when I really don't want to spend long in the kitchen. That or I keep 'em bookmarked on my laptop/phone to look at.

Thanks, it's overwhelming but should be easier now that 4 of them are in school [here's to hoping!] :)

[TerrariaMum]

DH used to take the girls to museums at the weekends when they were both in nappies. We go to parks almost every day as I can take the portable potty with us.

I suspect the real solution is to get DD1 to use the toilet rather than the potty. Luckily, we've just bought a family toilet seat which should help. And nursery starts soon which is also good.

Thanks everyone.

[AnotherStitchInTime]

I have three 5 and under, but eldest (5) now in school again after a long summer. Also in London. I baby wear and extended breast feed, I do eat meat, but also lentils!

I keep it simple, local and lower my expectations.

We rotate parks for variety, some are good for playground, others for flower/leaf picking, bug spotting or puddle jumping. Anything that involves walking that tires out dd2 (2.5) is good. I try to get out most mornings to save my sanity. We have a great local, non-judgemental baby/toddler group that runs 9.30am-12pm for £3 which I try to get to twice a week.

Youngest ds is 8 months and unwell at the moment so today dd2 has done playdough sitting in her high chair, pretended to ride a horsey in wellies on the rocking horse with a shoelace harness, built towers with big shape beads, played horsey farm/picnic while I tidied their bedroom.